The Mighty Suicide Bomber

The other day I listened briefly to the foolish and misguided ramblings of a young man about the bravery of suicide bombers. For a moment I considered the merits of kicking him in the balls as hard as I could or alternatively punching him in the nose. I wanted to see if he considered my actions to be as brave as those he lauded.

Granted I wasn’t trying to murder anyone. I wasn’t hooked up to a bomb nor hopeful that my actions would bring me a houseful of grateful women. In fact about the only thing that we could say that we shared was a willingness to engage in a an unprovoked attack.

Being a peaceful fellow and someone that really doesn’t want to go to jail I opted not to try use my field goal form to stick his nuts up around his neck. Nor was I going to provide the free version of a nose job.

Instead I asked him to tell me about the brave leaders that send the bombers out. Tell me about these brave and noble men who send children to die while they lounge. He tried to convince me that there was no difference between them and the generals in the US army. When I gently reminded him that his comparison was inaccurate he became upset. Maybe it was because I reminded him that the soldiers weren’t human bombs and that there was a plan to try and bring them home.

Or maybe it was because the ignorant fop understood that his blarney and blather was bullshit. It doesn’t matter all that much to me. All I know is that we have yet to receive the gift of Meshaal, Haniyeh and Bin Laden serving their causes this way. With any luck these fine men will all fall down the stairs and break their necks.

• Saved: Rnadom Thoughts, Terrorism