7 Things You Never Say To Mean Moms

fun

Smarter men than I am know that the best way to influence people and win friends is to not tell the mean moms that they need to spend more time with their battery operated toys.

Nor should you tell them that they need to fire their professional trainers and or have their mouths sewn shut. Don’t tell them that sewing their mouths shut will help them save money because their children are less likely to need therapy and that their husbands will never notice because mean moms only do one thing with their mouths and it is not that.

Don’t tell the mean moms that their daughters who aren’t even ten yet are on track to win whiny bitch of the year or suggest that your daughter would be doing them a favor by kicking their little snot nose asses.

Because if you do any of these things they will turn on you and you will be attacked by a gaggle of girls who prefer to be called women but can’t understand why you don’t shy away from confrontation or whither when they level personal attacks upon you. In fact they can’t understand how you can be meaner than they are and use words that make them flinch.

They don’t understand hypocrisy nor do they recognize that their husbands really don’t want to be pitted against you in any sort of contest because they are bunch of limp dick pussies who let themselves be emasculated by their mean wives. They don’t really want to fight because none of them have ever been in one and you have.

But they feel obligated to tell you that you can’t talk to their wives like that and you say that they are right and tell them that you are really sorry that you don’t have the kind of money that they do because if you did maybe your family would be granted a pass to act like an ass.

Those guys can’t figure out what to make of you and they look at you a bit like a rabid dog which may or may not be fair to the dog. Of course the difference is that the mean moms would hug the rabid dog and scratch his neck. And if he was crazy enough to hump their leg they would turn a bit red in the face and push him off but they wouldn’t think of calling the police.

I of course don’t have any personal experience dealing with mean moms and or mean girls so I can’t tell you what would happen if you made a mistake and said these things.

However I can tell you that most women tend not to respond well to this sort of dialogue. They don’t find it funny or consider it to be part of some witty repartee, but there is always hope that you will find the exception to the rule.

What do you think?

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21 Comments

  1. wonderoftech May 22, 2012 at 11:22 am

    I love mean moms. They make me look like an angel by comparison. I point them out to my girls and say, “See? Aren’t you glad I’m not like her?”

  2. Julie May 21, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    Listen, I went to school in Princeton – I can out-snot anyone if necessary, especially Floridians who aren’t even in the ballpark.  The most effective way of dealing with them that I ever witnessed was a man making use of the C word.  It surprised me, but it set them back on their heels quite effectively and permanently.  I don’t have girls but my kid takes boxing lessons because he’s going to need them.  He has free reign to use those skills anywhere, anytime with 100% parental backup – assuming he was assaulted first.  Or batteried.

    • TheJackB May 21, 2012 at 5:22 pm

       @Julie | A Clear Sign I have used that word on more than one occasion. You have to push me a bit to get it to come out, but if you make me feel the need to use it I am more than happy to  oblige you.
      One of the reasons I got my kids into Krav Maga was to help them build their self confidence and the other was to have just in case.

  3. donnamerrilltribe May 21, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    Mean Moms? Well all I can say is that I was born and raised in Brooklyn USA.  I had my share of those “moms” and will tell them something like you said in your first paragraph.  I know the type well and have no problem with confrontations. When it comes to their daughters, Grrr I can tell them where to go also.  That type of behavior is unacceptable in my realm.  And if those little girls think they are women, I can go nose to nose with them to show them they are NOT.   As for the husbands…ha!  If they act like that, they need a mistress.lol
    Donna

    • TheJackB May 21, 2012 at 5:26 pm

       @donnamerrilltribe I think that part of the problem is that no one told these women when they were younger that they were out of line and now they just act recklessly and without care.
      It is shameful.

  4. Sarah_Bella_30 May 21, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    I’m going to be honest and say that I’ve taken on the mean moms. There are a group of them who are girl scout moms in my daughter’s troop and they go out of their way to exclude the other moms – setting a wonderful example for their daughters. 
     
    I simply pointed out that there wasn’t enough bleach in the world to soak through their poorly colored roots and cleanse their blackened souls.
     
    Now they keep their mouths shut when I’m around – better for them and their daughters.
     

    • TheJackB May 21, 2012 at 3:46 pm

       @Sarah_Bella_30 Hi Sarah, 
      I truly am pleased to hear this. More people need to be willing to tell the mean moms to stuff it and that this sort of behavior is unacceptable. It would go a long way to improving things in many areas.
      Won’t fix it, but will improve it for certain.

  5. KristenDaukas May 21, 2012 at 7:28 am

    I just made sure that they know that I have a blog and I’m not afraid to use it. Now, when I’m around them I just pull out my pad of paper, watch them and start taking notes – even if it’s not about them.

  6. Sandi Amorim May 21, 2012 at 6:33 am

    I’m not a mom, mean or otherwise, but I’d like to take on those mean mommies someday ;-) 

  7. CrossBetsy May 21, 2012 at 6:00 am

    I’m racking my brain to try to remember if I’ve ever known a mean mom. Yes! I have.. She was in our last neighborhood. She scared my kids a lot, and they wouldn’t play with her children when she was home. The dad was so kind and he was an incredibly good influence on his children, hopefully overpowering his wife’s. I steered clear of her because she made me nervous. I never knew when she was going to blow!
    And another one, in the neighborhood before that was really scary! But I broke her by laughing at her. Her poor husband! He apologized endlessly for her. I hated seeing that.
    Since my kids stopped organized sports I’m out of the loop as far as mean moms go. 
    Funny, there was one mom that I remember whose whole family was embarrassed by her behavior, and yet each of the daughters ended up acting just like her. And she was so proud of it. 
    I really don’t understand husbands who defend their wive’s bad behavior. I mean, I get loyalty and all, but why would you want to be associated with it? I really admire men who, behind the scenes of course, try to teach their wives how their behavior reflects on the whole family. Touchy but so important!
     

    • TheJackB May 21, 2012 at 12:24 pm

       @CrossBetsy Hi Betsy,
      It is really tough to be around people like that. When you don’t know what sort of reaction you are going to get it makes it very hard to relax.
      Laughter is a great tool, good for your soul.
      How are things in your world?

      • CrossBetsy May 21, 2012 at 1:54 pm

         @TheJackB My world? Seriously? Hmmm. How to answer that one?  I feel like I’m running on a high wire as a slow and steady creep follows me, waiting to consume me if I slip. How’s that? LOL! You asked! No complaints. I’m extremely blessed, and surprised daily that things just work out eventually. My research and writing are slow. But tomorrow I pick up my new (used) car! Yippee! At least I’m not a mean mom, yet!
        Okay. I just looked up and read the headline of your last post:”Would You Just Shut Up”….HAHA! OK!

  8. subWOW May 21, 2012 at 5:03 am

    On behalf of the world, I want to thank you for telling the meanies off even if only in the fictional world of your blog. But wait, your blog is a depiction of your real life right? 😉

    • TheJackB May 21, 2012 at 12:18 pm

       @subWOW It is just fiction but so are the people at the school who emailed me to ask me to go talk to some of these mean mommies for them. Some people hate confrontation.

  9. AnnieAndreHacks May 21, 2012 at 3:37 am

    I think you know some mean mommy’s.  I have been in contact with mean mommies. A mean mommies overwight little girl threw my son’s books off the bus one day and drew a red dot on his forehead while he was sleeping on the bus another day.  Mean  mommy couldn’t believe that her sweet yet plump daughter could be the bully of 6th grade. We laugh now but i’m glad we moved away from mean mommyville in silicon valley..  Now we have mean French mommies but they are much nicer meanies.  But still, i would never tell them that and they probably think i’m a mean mommy and i am. 🙂  

    • TheJackB May 21, 2012 at 12:17 pm

       @AnnieAndreHacks Hi Annie,
      I know several and I am not very tolerant of their antics. Kids can be mean and I have seen my own children act nasty towards other kids. It is embarrassing and upsetting, but sometimes it happens.
      Part of our job as parents is to offer a little “course correction” when that happens.
      I wonder if it is easier to deal with mean mommies if you don’t speak the language very well. Might be easier to tune out.
       

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