Ladies and gentlemen some people have told me that this headline is rude, base and vulgar. They would be incorrect. Since I am mature, kind and loving all I have to say to them is find a partner or get new batteries for your toy.
That is not really rude, vulgar or base either, but because it uses your imagination it very well might make the jump from harmless to that other category that does not subscribe this post.
Here is what you need to take from all this: A good writer understands how to draw the reader in and make them use their imagination. Every time I write a post that is my goal- to tickle your imagination and make you see something inside your mind.
“Most people consider it bad form to slap a priest or pull a rabbi’s beard. They aren’t real keen on your telling Sister Mary that she has a rack that was made for sin and or suggesting that you can help her see god.” 567 Ways To Tell A Better Story
“The clown was drunk, surly and horny. Or should I say that he was in dire need of shagging Tinkerbell. Ok, her name wasn’t really Tinkerbell but the performers at a kids birthday party don’t introduce themselves by their real names so you’ll forgive me if I can’t tell you whether she was Karen, Kathy, Tracey, Lacey or Stacey. “ The Flying Clown
“A bear hug is no match for an angry man with a salami. For I took said salami and proceeded to beat him silly with it. Fortunately I was smart enough not to hit the two cops who came ostensibly to break up the fight.” It Wasn’t Worth Getting Arrested
Some of you might think these examples are silly, ridiculous and even over the top but I posit that a movie where Abraham Lincoln plays a vampire killer is over the top and therefore a drunk clown or fight with processed meat is tame.
Don’t ask me to explain The Rules of the Game to you because I don’t have time. You see I am busy reading All Things Are Possible. It is a fine tale of hope, love and determination in the 21st century. It is also in need of some serious editing.
69 Reasons Why Fathers Make Better Lovers
I tend to think of list posts as being something that lazy bloggers write. To be fair that is not always true but it hits the mark more often than not. There are several reasons why this is so.I would list them for you but some might accuse me of being a lazy blogger and I am not sure that I want that title. I already hold rude, vulgar and base- it just wouldn’t be fair to claim lazy now would it.
Besides I am too busy trying to become the Master Ninja of social media- a guru of all things social. Just ask me a question about Twitter, Tribber and Tweeting. Go ahead now, tell me you need to know how to pin someone and I’ll give you the goods. Better yet I will provide you with my affiliate links and encourage you to purchase each product.
Ok, on a serious note I do provide those from time to time but you can rest assured that I only push the products that I use and support. For example I am a big fan of AWeber and their newsletter services (affiliate link) and Sucuri for security issues related to my website (affiliate link).
You can expect to see a post or two about why I use these services in the very near future.
Some of My Favorite Song Lyrics
A brief sample:
“They held each other tight as they drove on through the night they were so excited.
We got just one shot of life, let’s take it while we’re still not afraid.
Because life is so brief and time is a thief when you’re undecided.
And like a fistful of sand, it can slip right through your hands.’
Young Turks- Rod Stewart
So you’re scared and you’re thinking
That maybe we ain’t that young anymore
Show a little faith, there’s magic in the night
You ain’t a beauty, but hey you’re alright
Oh and that’s alright with me
You can hide `neath your covers
And study your pain
Make crosses from your lovers
Throw roses in the rain
Waste your summer praying in vain
For a savior to rise from these streets
Well now I’m no hero
All the redemption I can offer, girl
Is beneath this dirty hood
With a chance to make it good somehow
Hey what else can we do now
Except roll down the window
And let the wind blow back your hair”
Thunder Road- Springsteen
“Will you walk with me out on the wire
`Cause baby I’m just a scared and lonely rider
But I gotta find out how it feels
I want to know if love is wild
girl I want to know if love is real”
Born To Run- Springsteen
Got to run in a moment but before I go I just have to know would you prefer to strut, sashay, ramble or just plain old walk?
P.S. Sometimes you need to just let loose and write. Try not to take this crap too seriously- thus spaketh Jack, Master Ninja of social media- a guru of all things social. Also known as the rude, base, vulgar and lazy dad blogger.
Back in a bit.
P.P.S. This is part of the Yeah Write #60 challenge grid.