Midnight has come and gone and I am still awake. This is not good because it means that I have broken another promise to myself.
Broken promises distress me. I don’t make promises because I don’t like being obligated to do things unless I think they are truly important. But there is nothing that irks me more than when we fail to keep the promises we make to ourselves.
A smarter man than I would simply stop typing and go to sleep but I won’t. That is because I have this feeling that if I keep writing something good is going to happen. I have this feeling that every time I sit down and start tapping and slapping these keys that I am going to solve this crazy puzzle and that life will change.
Not that it isn’t changing right now. Change isn’t coming, it is happening right now.
I have heard the echoes of the future and agreed to go meet them and maybe that is why I am still typing. Maybe that is why I keep writing and rewriting this particular post.
Maybe it is why I have listened to Springsteen sing Happy and Thunder Road four or five times tonight. Those words have meaning and I feel magic in the night air.
Lurkers and former commenters
I am always fascinated by the lurkers. That describes most of you. When I look at my stats I see there are tons of you who swing by here on a regular basis but rarely comment.
You intrigue me. I always wonder about who you are and what you are doing. Can’t help but make up stories inside my head about your lives and why you visit but don’t speak.
Those of you who have been around a long time know that sometimes I will push you to shed your cloaks of invisibility and reveal yourselves. I am intrigued by all of you but those who hang out here and my “story” blog really catch my eye.
But the people who I wonder about most are the regulars who used to be among the most visible members of the community but have since disappeared. I run into some of you around the blogosphere and wonder if you have become bored with the words you read here.
It wouldn’t surprise me. It happens. There are blogs that I stop reading because I have gotten all that I could from them. There are blogs that I stopped reading because they managed to offend me.
That could happen here too. I don’t really have to know what happened to the old regulars, but I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t curious.
That video catches my eye because it is another reminder to me to focus on the people that are important. There are one or two who used to be a part of my life who I need to reach out to. I need to tell them a few things and then see what happens.
I want them to know these things because they are important to me and I will regret not trying to make sure they know how I feel.
Life is short and I don’t want any more regrets than I have. I really don’t have many, but those that exist are enormous.
Courage and newsletters
I have made a point to step outside of my comfort zone. That is part of how I recognized that the echoes of the future are calling me. That is not as hokey as it sounds. Those echoes are the visions I see of the life I want to lead.
Why shouldn’t I try to meet them. Why shouldn’t you.
Fear and uncertainty have sometimes prevented me from doing what needs to be done to make them more than wisps of imagination. But those days are gone, or so I have promised myself.
I may slip up from time to time. I may break a few promises to myself here and there but I think blogging can help me stay on track. I think blogging can help me be accountable to myself.
The newsletter I started is one example of a promise I made to myself that I have kept. Now I just need to finish writing the book and the ebook.
But I suppose that if I am going to do those things I ought to get a little shut eye. Sleep well my friends and I shall see you in the morning. With a little luck those whispers I hear in the back of my mind will become a bit clearer and I will have news to share with you.