Bloggers Are Insecure

My Thoughts Are Over The Hills and Far away.

My Thoughts Are Over The Hills and Far away.

Most of you aren’t aware that I maintain about five different blogs, truth is there might be one or two more that I am not thinking about.

There are only a few that I talk about here. Random Thoughts and Words Left Unwritten get some play and occasionally I’ll point out the second Random Thoughts too.

The first Random Thoughts is where this all began. It is special to me because it is my first cyber home and I haven’t let go of it because it has sentimental value and because sometimes I go back there because it offers a place to do different sorts of writing than here.

Words Left Unwritten is where I focus on my fiction and I love that place too because it is where I have worked on turning possibility into opportunity. Many of the stories I write there have received quite a bit of attention and it is where I work on pushing myself to reach that next rung on the ladder.

The second Random Thoughts was my second serious attempt to move from Blogger to WordPress. It wasn’t self hosted, but it was where I began to figure out how WP works and where I mulled over whether it made sense to make the move.

“I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that.” Iris Gaines From The Natural

The headline should be changed to sometimes Bloggers Are Insecure because that is more accurate. It reflects the truth or maybe it reflects my truth.

Sometimes when I don’t receive many shares or comments I suffer from Blog Envy and Tweet Esteem issues. Most of the time I don’t care because I love what I am doing too much not to do it.

This place you are visiting, it is my refuge and my salvation. There is so much joy in the journey I can’t properly express what it means to me.

I can tell you about how I became a writer, stopped and then started again. I can tell you about how blogging has helped put me back on track to what I am supposed to do with my life.

I am a writer.

This is what I am supposed to do. These words you read are magic and are taking me too places I only imagined.

Thirty years ago I wanted nothing more than to be an outfielder for the Dodgers. I was good. I led the league in home runs. No one had a better arm than I did. I threw out a boy at home plate.

I still remember scooping up the ball in center field and firing it home. It was perfect. He slid right into the tag.

Eighteen years ago I stood under a moonlit sky in the middle of Jerusalem and made my decision to leave the states and move. I walked with a group of twenty somethings like myself and talked about what life would be.

I flirted with girls from South Africa, England and Scotland. Israeli girls teased me about my accent and I laughed.

My dreams of playing centerfield were long since gone and I had other thoughts on my mind. I knew that I was on the verge of something big, something amazing and I wanted it.

Life happened and I went a different direction. Sometimes I have wondered whether the choices I made were right, smart and or proper.

I have wondered if I could do anything would I step back in time and try the road not taken. Most of the time I don’t think about that anymore. I don’t ask if things happen for a reason because it doesn’t really matter.

Life Is Challenging, But Good

It doesn’t matter because what is done is done and I have that fierce grizzly bear love that parents have for children. My children are simply awesome and I am grateful to have them in my life.

There is no doubt that life has presented its share of challenges and that there have been many moments where I have wondered what would happen next.

Frustration and uncertainty have reared their heads and I have asked if I am the source of challenges, but this is where blogging steps back in.

Blogging has provided a simple venue in which I have been able to ask and answer these questions. It is where I have wandered down aisles and pathways that have made it clear to me that this is special.

I don’t have all of the answers I have been looking for, but I have found more than a few. I feel a bit like Indiana Jones and though I am sitting at a keyboard it doesn’t mean I don’t wear the hell out of a fedora or am any less capable of using this bull whip.

Can’t tell you what chapter I am on, but I know there is a lot left in this story and I hope you continue to share it with me.

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19 Comments

  1. J-Tony October 27, 2012 at 6:56 am

    Jack~
    You da Man Jack. Love reading your stuff. Always inspires and makes me think. Thank you for doing what you do.

  2. Barrett Rossie October 25, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    FIVE BLOGS? Are you kidding me? Heck no, you’re a writer! I have a hard enough time keeping up with one blog.

    Although I was (am?) an advertising/marketing copywriter, I always leaned to marketing and business side of the equation. I have no unpublished novels.

    This is my first time here Jack. I’m sure I’ll be back. I’d love to read some of your other stuff — is there a novel coming out sometime soon? You write beautifully, no need for any insecurity.

    • Jack October 25, 2012 at 11:36 pm

      Hi Barrett,

      Welcome to the blog. Truth is I barely have time to keep up with the blogs I have, but I see the time doing so as being beneficial so I make it happen.

      Writing is my craft and the only way to improve is to practice, so here I am.

      Anyhoo, I am working on a novel and some short stories that I need to tweak a bit. If you like what you see here you are welcome to look around and certainly welcome to read my fiction, just let me know and I can point you in the right direction.

      Thank you for the compliment, I appreciate it.

  3. Tracie October 24, 2012 at 6:11 pm

    I have those insecurities sometimes.

    Maintaining my one blog is enough for me. There have been times when I’ve thought about starting a second one and separating out some of my stuff, and it would probably be better for finding a niche and branding myself and all those other blogging rules…but sometimes life is better when you don’t play by the rules. That, or I’m just too lazy to put in the work it would take to expand my blogging to multiple sites.

    • Jack October 25, 2012 at 11:33 pm

      Hi Tracie,

      I sort of fell into the multiple blog thing, but it has been helpful. It is not because I think we need niches to be successful either, I just find it easier to organize my thoughts and focus that way.

      And I definitely agree life is better when you don’t play by the rules, just much more fun.

  4. Tim Bonner October 23, 2012 at 9:37 am

    Hey Jack

    That’s good going maintaining five blogs! I struggle with one sometimes.

    I enjoy writing, it needs some work but I’m getting a kick out of doing it.

    And what I love about blogging is making connections with other people and reading about people’s lives and thoughts on the world.

    That’s why I like this blog so much. I enjoy the journey.

    • Jack October 24, 2012 at 12:27 pm

      Hi Tim,

      It is really kind of silly maintaining so many, but I do. I really only focus on a few which makes it much easier to handle.

      We agree about the journey, it really does make this into something extra special.

  5. Jens P. Berget October 23, 2012 at 6:51 am

    I thought you had two blogs, and you would have been the most productive blogger I know with just one blog 🙂

    I really enjoy the journey, and following your personal development and the stories from your past. By the way, do you recommend any books for becoming a better writer? I have read “on writing” by Steven King, but that’s about it.

    • Jack October 24, 2012 at 12:22 pm

      Hi Jens,

      Nah, I am the silly guy who keeps almost every blog he has ever been a part of going. The practice really helps as does the discipline of writing on a regular basis.

      I haven’t read all that many books about writing, at least not many that I remember. I like King’s book very much. It is information that makes sense to me and it seems quite practical.

  6. Joe October 23, 2012 at 5:50 am

    A lifetime ago, I was Tom Seaver smoking fastballs off the back wall of my grandparents’ brick ranch. When we were kids, I think we were all ballplayers at one time or another. The time I spent doing that was grand, a great use of my imagination. Now my son has those same dreams. His are little more well organized. 🙂

    Five blogs, huh? Damn, you make the rest of us look lazy…

    • Jack October 24, 2012 at 11:57 am

      Hi Joe,

      Tom Seaver- the man could throw. So were you Tom Seaver of the Mets or Big Red Machine?

      Those were good times and those dreams were amazing. Sometimes I miss those dreams but I appreciate that some of my big dreams now are things that might be easier to achieve.

  7. Jayme Soulati October 23, 2012 at 4:26 am

    Lovely sentiment on this, life’s journey. The only thing I can say is that we move ahead one step at a time dictated by happenstance and planning. Most of all it’s our children who lead us rather than we who ask them to follow.

    • Jack October 23, 2012 at 11:23 pm

      Hi Jayme,

      I don’t know. I see it as being a sort of mix. We do what we can to lead and to plan, but sometimes life happens and we have to switch gears.

  8. tracey October 23, 2012 at 4:21 am

    My reasons for blogging have changed every month for the past 6 years. Yes. 6 years of blogging. One would think I’d be bigger and have learned to be eloquent on a more regular basis but one would be mistaken. And still, I blog.

    • Jack October 23, 2012 at 4:45 pm

      Hi Tracey,

      Six years of blogging is a good run. That is about the time when you really begin to figure out where you are going and what you hope to accomplish, or so I like to think.

      The biggest question in my mind is always based upon whether you are having fun or not because if you are not having fun than I hope you are getting paid well to do this. 😉

      Joy trumps eloquence, or at least mitigates the feelings of frustration when it doesn’t come easily.

  9. Betsy Cross October 23, 2012 at 2:56 am

    I have 4 blogs now. My latest is fun for now. As I was driving and thinking before the sun came up this morning I thought that maybe I ought to add a disclaimer at the header: don’t know where I’m going with this, but thanks for coming for the ride…

    Writing is interesting. It opens locked parts of the brain. So many different doors to enter!!

    • Jack October 23, 2012 at 4:37 pm

      Hi Betsy,

      Four blogs and one for fun. I like the sound of that, the one for fun that is. I like your disclaimer too, half the time I don’t know where this is going either.

      That is part of the joy in the journey.

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