Sometimes I forget how nice it is to be complimented and or praised for your writing.
Got several compliments about Words Are The Death Of A Blogger and smiled because it was nice to hear people liked a piece I wrote and to know I liked it too.
Those things don’t always happen in conjunction with each other, if ever.
My personal standards are high and I often feel like I haven’t quite reached them so it is not uncommon for me to feel like I could have done a better job on a particular post.
In my professional life it is not unusual for me to spend a chunk of time writing and rewriting my pieces but I don’t do that very often on the blog.
This place is both for practice and for play.
The blog serves as both chronicle and classroom for me. It is a place where I keep track of the movement, mileage and growth of the children and me.
It is the joint where I ask and answer the hard questions in my life.
It may not be obvious to you what I am asking and answering but I it is not unusual to see it done on a daily basis.
The blog is where I discovered and or remembered many critical things about myself, what I want and more importantly…what I need.
- Can’t Get It Out Of My Head- Electric Light Orchestra
- Lover You Should’ve Come Over- Natalie Maines
- Hallelujah- Leonard Cohen
- Purple Rain- Prince
- Visions Of Paradise- Mick Jagger
There is a local gym that is advertising a special program where they will take a number of men and women and put them through a free bootcamp.
Free is a relative term, you have to apply and then you have to agree to do the dog and pony show they’ll put you through.
I have thought about applying for a spot. I have thought about trying to take advantage of the opportunity but I have held back.
I haven’t done it in part because of my ego and because I am not sure if I am going to be around long enough to commit to it.
I have this feeling that something big is coming and I’ll find myself making a big move and that won’t be something that I can put off.
Part of me wonders if it is a mistake and part of me says not at all, especially the one that doesn’t want to publish before and after pictures.
The Things We Discover Because Of Blogging
Apparently this push to get myself back in shape is limited in the sense that I just don’t want to publicize that I don’t look like I want to, at least not in pictures.
It is kind of funny because every time I see myself or get dressed it is obvious to me that things aren’t where I want them to be.
Never thought this would happen, but it did and I own it.
I hold myself accountable, but that doesn’t mean I feel like letting some gym take pictures of me in my underwear now and later.
I am really angry and frustrated about a bunch of different things.
There are some people I want to shake and scream at. Some people who let me down and others who have wreaked more havoc in my life than anyone should be allowed to.
The most infuriating part is I haven’t been able to just cut them out and let them go about their way without me the way I want to or think I should have.
Much of that was out of my control but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel like I should have done more to adjust, pivot and prepare for it.
But what is done, is done.
I have done and am doing my best to move into living the kind of life I have always dreamed about. This blog has been a fundamental part in clarifying those things for me.
It has served not only as my clarity but a ledger of accomplishment that details how far I have come and helps me see I am getting closer every day.
About Dads & Daughters
My daughter is 11.5 going on 30 and an avid soccer player.
She is a very solid player who has consistently made the all-star team and has developed a name for herself because of how hard she plays.
Several club teams are recruiting her now and I couldn’t be prouder of her.
I don’t know if she will end up playing for any of them. It depends on the cost and how much time they are asking for.
School comes first.
She played in another tournament this past weekend.
Before the last game started she told me she was nervous because she knew people were watching her.
I told her to play her game and remember that she got to this place because she plays hard and she plays as part of a team.
And then I told her to impose her will on her side of the pitch and to make the offense hate coming to her side of the field.
“I know dad, don’t intentionally hurt anyone but let those girls know I am not going to be pushed around.”
I smiled at her and told her I loved her and then watched her race all over the field and encouraged her to keep going as hard as she could for as long as she could.
Told the kids that we can’t rely upon luck and that hard work is a fundamental part of trying to get what we want and what we need.
Reminded them that sometimes life doesn’t follow a straight line and that it won’t always go our way.
But when the lights go out and we’re alone with our thoughts we always feel better when we worked hard and did our best.
The clock does its tick-tocking dance past 1 AM and I wonder if the post is telling the story the way I want it to or if I should just scrap it.
Sleep is required and since you never know what posts will or will not resonate with people I’ll press publish and hope for the best.
Besides come Monday morning or afternoon I’ll write another one and then another and maybe if I work hard enough I’ll find the write words.
Or maybe I’ll just get lucky, you never know. All you can do is position yourself for success and hope for the best.