One Father’s Expert Parenting Secrets Revealed

The boys in legal told me I shouldn’t write a post about the 15 dumbest dad bloggers, 27 annoying mom bloggers and 985,084,093,093 how to make money online bloggers because I might suffer blowback.

I told them the only blowback I fear is the kind you get when you pee at the urinal and don’t aim properly and they just rolled their eyes at me.

Yeah, sometimes I play fast and loose with the rules of blogging and life. That is because people call me dad and somewhere during the last 16 years of fatherhood I lost the final shreds of my sanity.

If you are not a parent, you just won’t get it and that is ok, because I’ll describe parenting for you in one magical post here or you can settle for the snapshot below.

Parenting is everything you ever heard all at once. It is sensory overload that is often unrelenting and at times unforgiving. You figure it out as you go. Two days before your child turns is going to turn nine you realize that you are an expert at eight. You know how to handle eight.

Congratulations. You now have two days to enjoy your role as an expert. Nine is going to be different.

It kind of reminds me of the moment you realize that the degree(s) you earned in college didn’t really teach you all you need to know to go out and work.

At best they gave you a foundation of knowledge you can fall back upon but it is not enough to get the job done, oh no, you are just at the beginning stage of learning you don’t know very much about the world you just walked into.

Some 0f you are probably thinking that is where you fall back upon the “fake it until you make it” act so many of us engage in.

It makes sense and I understand why you would go that route, but let me assure you that parents are the kings and queens of it.

Since babies don’t pop out of the womb with guides that explain how they work and or handy-dandy trouble shooting flow charts we are always winging it.

One Father’s Expert Parenting Secrets Revealed

Yeah, if you haven’t figured it out my expert advice doesn’t have as much structure as some of you might want.

That doesn’t mean I can’t provide any or won’t but it does mean I have learned life as a father is filled with a lot of “what the hell do I do now” moments.

Some of them are simple and some are complex with a whole crapload of stuff that falls somewhere in between.

During the days/nights when it is most challenging I often find myself gazing up at the stars, headphones on my ears and focused on trying to figure out the song I hear inside my heart.

That last part isn’t supposed to be snarky, goofy or anything resembling silly.

musicsoul

Every age my kids have been has been among my favorite ages but I am finding them as preteen and teens to be even more fun and interesting.

That is because they are capable of having conversations with the kind of depth you can’t get from a toddler or young child.

Believe me, I am not knocking those ages either because some of my favorite memories come from when my kids were really little.

And because when you have preteens and teens you miss the days when they were cute without trying to be and not quite so damn mouthy.

*****

Anyhoo, one of the bigger changes that has come as a dad blogger is how I approach my content and the extra care I take in maintaining good boundaries.

My kids and their friends are tech savvy and known to Google themselves and each other.

And even though I haven’t used our real names it is not impossible for the semi-anonymous to be discovered so I try hard not to write stuff that will be embarrassing.

Granted when you have kids of a certain age it almost doesn’t matter because anything and everything you write can be embarrassing but I figure stuff that happened when they were truly little is fair as opposed to what happens now.

Now, well that is stuff I am more circumspect about sharing or at least more careful in putting them on paper.

Part Of A Father’s Job

See that Lao Tzu quote above, the one about music in the soul?

Well part of my job is helping teach my children how to get along in the world on their own. Part of it is helping them learn how to be self-sufficient and productive members of society.

And part of it is showing them that it is ok for people to grow and change over time and that we never stop looking for what helps us bring out that music in our souls.

That is why I blog. That is why I write. That is why I am in transition.

It is part of the song I hear inside my head and the great dance.

Ignore it and part you dies, I can’t and won’t be that person or that parent.

What about you.

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2 Comments

  1. Larry June 8, 2016 at 5:03 pm

    After all these years, I’m still looking for the instructions – or at least a warranty.

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