Some Days I Wish I Was Wolverine

Some days I wish I was Wolverine because I think it would be cool to be him and some days I wish I was Wolverine because I Need to be him.

Don’t mistake it to mean I don’t like being me or that I have any real problems with it because I don’t.

Sure if I had the power I’d make myself slightly taller, give myself a digestive system that works at full capacity 100 percent of the time and one or two other tweaks.

But that doesn’t mean I think the person I am is bad, weak or deficient because I don’t.

It just means that I recognize I am as human as the next guy and that I’d like to be better.

Besides who wouldn’t want to have the ability to heal almost any wound and have Adamantium claws you can use for all sorts of nifty stuff.

mill-1620440

Today is one of those funny days where I am feeling a bit frustrated and would like people to feel like a tiger is staring at them.

It is one of those days where I’d casually extend a claw and pick my teeth with it so that people know old Jack Steiner is feeling a bit ornery and it might not be the best time to aggravate him.

One of those days where I look at the picture just above and think about how nice it must be to live in a place so green and lush.

I can almost hear the sound of the water and that is a very pleasant noise indeed.

Will Dad Take His Own Advice?

When the kids tell me they are upset about something I always ask them if they know what it is because it is easier to work with feelings you have identified.

I suppose I ought to use this as my own teaching moment and should take my own advice.

If I did I’d ask myself why I am feeling this way and I’d say it is because I am a little nervous.

I don’t have as good a handle on the new job as I would like to and that makes me a bit uncomfortable.

Ask me if anyone has criticized or chastised me and I’ll say no.

All they have done is offer support and told me to take baby steps because it is brand new, been in the new position for one week and on my own for all of one day.

You have to learn to walk before you can run, except I am impatient and my own biggest critic.

If anyone else talked this way to me I’d tell them to get lost and or ignore them because they are acting like a fool.

Except this time I am that fool.

fool-1187197

So here is the deal and the plan.

I am going to accept feeling uncomfortable, uncertain and foolish.

Give me the damn mask or the jester’s hat and bells so I can do some silly dance and get this over with.

And now that I have taken ownership of it I am going to tell you about the song that is playing in my head right now and how it made me smile.

It is Time Stand Still by Rush and the lyrics just feel perfect for this moment.

“I let my skin get too thin
I’d like to pause,
No matter what I pretend
Like some pilgrim
Who learns to transcend
Learns to live
As if each step was the end

Time stand still
I’m not looking back
But I want to look around me now
Time stands still
See more of the people
And the places that surround me now”

And just like that clarity snaps back into place and my attitude is adjusted.

Someone call my kids and tell them dear old dad just proved some of his advice is worth listening to.

Still it might be nice to be Wolverine. I bought a bunch of stuff at Costco that was packaged in that crazy clamshell plastic and it just doesn’t want to open. 😉

4 Comments

  1. Larry September 14, 2016 at 4:09 am

    You impatient? Would have never guessed it. Ha ha.
    Does Wolverine have a full head of hair? If so, I’m in to be him too.

  2. Steve DeBenedetti-Emanuel September 13, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    Sigh. That acceptance of being ok feeling uncomfortable is really uncomfortable. Good job staying with it, despite feeling off your game!

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  
Please enter an e-mail address

You may also like