One of the things that I love about the blogosphere is that I am a part of community.
Community, not one, but many.
I rise up into the ether and find myself a part of a community of bloggers, of those who share my faith, interests, goals, objectives and so much more.
It is a place that I find fascinating. I frequently speak about how I love the interaction and sometimes the voeyeuristic component of this. I peak into lives and see people who I think are just like and I watch others who are so very different.
I learn about them and myself and I really believe that I am growing, at least that is the hope. I know for certain that this has been a positive experience for me if for no other reason than the outlet it provides as well as the chance to work on my writing. I need the practice.
And I know that the outlet provides me with a certain freedom to say things I might not say and to admit things that I might not otherwise. So here is my confession of the moment.
I check my stats way too frequently. I look at Technorati to see if people have decided that I am a necessary part of their daily diet, have they blogrolled me or have they unblogrolled me. I am interested, but in truth I am more touched when someone writes a post because of something they said, wrote, saw or experienced here.
I am sometimes frustrated when there are no comments, especially on posts where I really feel like I have hit a homerun.
So the reality and the truth is that there is some ego involved here, a bit of a come love me component, but I accept that. Is it wrong to admit this, should I be ashamed that I would like for people to look to my blog for this and that.
I don’t think so. I feel a little foolish admitting it, but as I said, this is the place where I let those things out, where the dark corners get to see a little light.
I am still a dreamer, a person who lives in the stars. I am not just a father, not just a mealticket or provider.
I am still that boy who dreams of playing a professional sport, who wanted to be part of some amazing story like a Harry Potter or LOTR book.
Blogging really has done a lot for me, I am truly thankful. And if the time comes when I decide I need to hangup my spikes I likely will not announce it. I will probably avoid making a big deal of it because I don’t want a bunch of people begging me to stay and if they do not I will be pissed off and mildly hurt.
Better to walk away and leave a little mystery to where I have gone and if I will return.