Fear And Pride
There are three things that I wish I had real talent/ability:
Singing, Dancing and Painting.
Alas, I am not particularly good at any of them.
When I shed my fear and remove my pride I find my way with ease through each one of these mazes. I sing loud, dance with reckless abandon and don’t feel obligated to describe my painting as being modern.
Sometimes Fear And Pride Influence Me
Sometimes fear and pride have more influence over me than I wish to admit. Sometimes they stop me from doing what it is that I really want to do. There are moments where they have had their way and I have missed opportunities because of them.
I am not prescient which I suppose is part of why there have been those moments where I didn’t walk into the cornstalks to see where the other ballplayers went. Sometimes I could justify it by basing my decision upon experience and the gut feeling that the time just wasn’t right to go for it.
Sometimes that payed off and I could rest comfortably knowing I did the right thing, but not always.
Wanderlust is a part of my heart and that restless need to find out what lies just around the bend or behind the door doesn’t always accept playing it safe.
What Price Do We Pay?
There is a price to be paid for all that we do and fear and pride are no different. But I remind myself that this is not necessarily a good or bad thing. It is just part of life. Every time we make a choice it comes with a little something but we don’t always know whether that is good or bad until we do it.
So I have tried to adjust how I live my life so that I don’t walk around like some sort of crazy bookkeeper tabulating the cost of every little thing I do. I don’t spend every moment trying to calculate how many calories are in the extra slice of pizza or worrying that playing it safe/not playing it safe will hurt me.
When I think about watching my children learn how to walk I remember how every time they fell they got back up and did it again. Every time they wobbled they kept pushing until they didn’t rock back and forth on their feet.
Once upon a time I was no different.
I was them and most of the time I like to think I still am.
Painting/Singing/Dancing
The reason I wish I could do all three of these things more skillfully than I do now is very simple. I like creating. I like expressing. I like letting loose and finding ways to translate the images I see in my mind.
All three of these things would help with that. They are all made for it. They are made for expression of any and all feelings.
There is joy to be found there and I always look for more ways to experience and share joy.
All I have to do now is keep working at preventing fear and pride from spoiling that, most of the time I think I am pretty about it.
How about you?
Lorne Marr April 23, 2013 at 7:07 am
Hi Jack,
I think it all depends on what you want to achieve. If you want to become a famous painter/singer/dancer, I guess it’s impossible without at least a bit of talent and hours of painstaking practice. On the other hand, if you just want to express your feelings and show your work to your friends, I can’t see any reason why you need to be a pro. Art is the best means of relaxing and even complex thoughts and feelings can be stripped to a simple core, can’t they?
Jack April 23, 2013 at 8:59 pm
Hi Lorne,
You make a good point. If you aren’t interested in trying to use these skills on a commercial level than you can do what you want without the same concern for your talent.
The question is whether you can set your pride aside. I haven’t always been able to do so, but I suppose we could also argue that some things don’t have to be shared. It is better if you can, but…
that cynking feeling April 20, 2013 at 4:59 pm
It’s so disheartening to hear people say, “I’m not very good at that” when asked when they don’t do something they would enjoy. What’s sad it was I hear a kid say this. If they never sing off-key with all their heart, when they grown up, they won’t remember the joy they felt and won’t be motivated to shed the fear and pride that gets in the way of happiness.
Jack April 21, 2013 at 11:21 am
There is something to be said for having the confidence to just let loose and do some of these things. There really is joy in it.
bridgetstraub.com April 20, 2013 at 9:59 am
They all seem so simple and yet doing them well can be incredibly difficult, especially singing. I think that one you either have or you don’t. You can’t teach a tone deaf person to hear or a bad voice to be good.
Jack April 21, 2013 at 11:20 am
Hi Bridget,
I think it is easier to teach someone how to write well than sing. I am with you, not real sure you can take a bad voice and change it.
Betsy Cross April 20, 2013 at 8:25 am
I have first hand experience (with people I know) who said they could do none of those things either. But really, anyone who sticks with something can learn to do anything. The problem is that the things that come easily feeed our souls quicker and praise adds to the high as well. So…most people don’t stick with the hard and frustrating work of doing something that eems impossible. I’ve erased and thrown away so many paintings. Each have brought me closer to what I see in my mind.
Your canvas, song, and dance are right here, on the blog. 🙂
Jack April 21, 2013 at 11:19 am
Hi Betsy,
I think that there is truth to saying people can learn to do anything, but the question is how much ability you can gain from practice. That is what I wonder about.
I do agree about the song, dance and canvas. 😀
Hope you are having a great weekend.