Why You Should Never Blog About Sex With Clergy Members

Won’t be long before the terrible beauty of November is eclipsed by a midnight moon and I’ll roll into the final month of a year that has been filled with as many ups and downs as any I can think of.

Flip on iTunes, turn on The Immigrant Song, close my eyes and think about what stories to share with you. I participated in NaBloPoMo, the blog every fucking day of the month exercise…again.

Sometimes I wonder it is an appropriate writing exercise for a man who has multiple blogs because I update all of them on a regular basis and though I  am a proponent of the value/importance of writing regularly I have come to appreciate the beauty of disconnecting from my electronic gear and world.

View from Glacier Point, Yosemite, CA

My favorite synagogue.

Why You Should Never Blog About Sex With Clergy Members

Sometimes we talk about the importance of being part of a community and how it can help you become a better blogger. While there is merit in doing so I am not one who likes to be labeled or pigeonholed as being part of one group which is why one of my favorite posts is Do I Need A Tribe or Must I Have a Label?

There is a line in it about Sister Mary Incredible but nothing about sleeping with a woman who would one day become a rabbi. Is it wrong that I want to say I am responsible for helping her find God?

Don’t tell the Shmata Queen about that one because she might forget I am not invisible and come looking for me. And if she opens her eyes and discovers mine staring into hers she might ask questions no one really needs to know the answers to. Or she might ask me if I am baiting her by writing these words.

If she did ask I’d smile and tell her it just doesn’t matter and then she’d yell at me and I’d tell her to close her eyes and ask her heart not to try not to stomp on mine when she closed the door.

And then I’d apologize and she’d ask me why I do that and I’d say because I can’t pull her pigtails and she’d roll her eyes at me and I’d say you know we can’t stay angry with each other.

Damn woman.

*****

Three beers and two shots of something that burns your throat do a fine job of giving you liquid courage not that I really wanted or needed any because I am good at coming up with this crap without any assistance.

Probably should have mentioned earlier that sometimes I exaggerate, embellish and or elaborate in ways that are designed to engage. Call that a long winded way of trying to find more ways to suck you in and keep you reading.

Johnny Cash is singing In My Life and I am smiling because it is so very appropriate for this time and this moment.

FWIW, I am not aware of having ever had sexual relations with a member of the clergy but I admit to wanting to have a story about Sister Mary Incredible.

Who wouldn’t want to share a tale of nunsense.

Movies & Children

Saturday night my daughter asked if we could have a family movie night. I said sure and asked her if she still wanted to see Guardians of The Galaxy.

I wasn’t certain if she would like it but some time back she complained that she was the only kid in her class that hadn’t seen it and said it was unfair I had taken her older brother.

When she pushed me to take her then I told her she needed a better reason than “because everyone else did it” and we let it go.

Anyhoo when she asked me if we could have a family movie night I thought Guardians might offer a painless solution, something that we would all agree up and it would have been fine had it been available for rent.

Turned out the damn flick was available for purchase only so I apologized and said we would have to make another choice.

She said ok but told me she wanted to see it more now because she likes the soundtrack. Somewhere between Hooked on a Feeling and Fooled Around and Fell In Love she decided it is something she needs to see.

Sunday morning rolled around and I told the kids if they finished their homework we could go see something at the AMC. The kids said the  Penguins of Madagascar was a good movie but I know it for being a great place for taking a nap.

Do Things Happen For a Reason?

I can’t play the guitar nor sing but if a genie gave me a bunch of wishes those would be on my list of thing I want.

That is because a good storyteller wants more than one way to tell the tales he sees in his head and feels in his heart. But sometimes I think I wasn’t given that particular gift because it would have made some things too damn easy and many things have come easily to me.

It is kind of funny to say that because as often as I say life is too damn hard I have to say how easy it has been. That doesn’t mean I haven’t had rough moments or that there aren’t times where I wonder how the hell I am going to get myself through a particular moment because that crap has been around more times than I can tell you.

This moment now, this moment before midnight is one of those. One of those times where I want to go look up at the moon and ask the universe to give me a straight answer about why things are cocked up and twisted.

If you told me to hold the castle for a while I’d nod my head, tell you to pull up the draw bridge and recite some kind of oath, maybe something like this.

Maybe I’d be like Raoul in Phantom of The Opera or maybe Gandalf would appear and share some sort of inspirational vision with me. Hell it would be cool to have Dumbledore come out of the sky and provide some sort of wisdom I could hold onto.

But none of those things have happened and none of those people have appeared.

It has always been just old Jack, his heart and common sense.

Most of the time that has been enough.

But if the universe did answer, if a voice did come from the sky I think it would say leave your comfort zone and trust your feet to help you dance to the song of your heart.

 

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4 Comments

  1. Brian Sorrell December 2, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    I love writing awash in contradiction and reflection. The difficulty. The ease. The cockupedness of the world.

    More and more, you’ve got a certain voice in my head. May I one day match that voice up with you and three beers and two throat burners.

    • The JackB December 2, 2014 at 7:20 pm

      @briansorrell:disqus You are a thinker and a contemplater. Don’t know if that is a word but I like it so let’s use it. There is a place for people like us. One of these days we’ll have those drinks.

  2. Larry December 1, 2014 at 6:31 pm

    I liked that line about helping the Rabbi find G-d. it made me laugh.
    I’m sorry it wasn’t true as you said later on.

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