Groucho is one of my favorite actors/characters of all time. He was a master with words and I would be lying if I said that I haven’t wished to be as witty and as good at delivering lines as he was. Here is a short nippet of some of my favorite lines:
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
You’ve got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I’ll bet he was glad to get rid of it.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others. (This could be a good campaign slogan for someone)
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
How about this one…
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, which doesn’t say much for you.”
Or
“Pardon me while I have a strange interlude.”
Or
“I’m sick of these conventional marriages. One woman and one man was good enough for your grandmother, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Nobody, not even your grandfather.”
-Animal Crackers, 1930
Absolutely priceless….