Falling Or Floating?

I wrote a letter to a girl in which I asked if we were falling or floating away or towards each other.

Heard soft voices rising and a sort of symphony that moved from silence to a roar and just watched.

It wasn’t easy to ignore my natural impulses to fire up the engine and come flying out of the garage racing towards that light I saw in the sky in the distance.

I won’t be the moth that flys into the flame but I will be the guy who sails to the end of the sea to see what lies upon the lonely isle.

I can’t ignore the rainbow and not find out if the leprechaun that lies upon the other side is friendly and willing to share his pot of gold.

Can’t just stare at the castle walls knowing I was on the other side and am not for silly or ridiculous reasons such as not asking for the drawbridge to be released.

That is what is different,.

There was a time when I would have just laid siege to the walls and now I take a gentler approach asking politely for doors to be opened.

It is remarkably effective and causes far less chaos.


The North Star

Some wolves howl because they are alone and wish not to be and others know it is a temporary thing.

They lean back and look at the north star and call out knowing eventually their call will be returned.

That answering howl comes and they walk swiftly and silently under the starry night sky towards their companion.

Time operates in the traditional sense in that it passes but it is not viewed traditionally. Some things don’t change just because time has passed.

They continue and exist regardless of the passage.

Some things simply are.

Victory Comes

Today a teenager succeeded at something they were very uncertain about and his father got to look at him and say “I told you so.”

Not in a nagging or negative sort of way, but supportive, reassuring and warm.

Hopefully it was heard, understood and absorbed as such.

Time will tell.

We all have our paths.

Victory comes in different ways and we have to be open and aware or sometimes we don’t notice.

Bricks In The Wall

Sometimes songs hit me for different reasons and today I hear this as a son and father.

There are the few who know enough to ask and fewer still who get answers because sometimes you don’t know a damn thing even though you think you do.

Sometimes you don’t get answers, responses or information because I am not interested in hearing you prattle on about solutions that aren’t applicable but sound good because you paint with the broadest of brushes.

Given my druthers I would gladly accept your solution because that would mean this particular challenge could be solved with far less time and effort than it requires but that is not how life works.

And given my dedication and sense of responsibility I can’t half ass this and I am ok with it, sometimes that is how it goes.

But if you asked and I chose to answer I’d describe this as the most painful thing I have encountered but would also say I can see significant progress so there is ample reason to say we are going to get there…eventually.

Friendship Trumped By A Fool

A dear friend in the ‘real world’ asked me how many friendships I have dumped because of Trump and I said one or two.

“That surprises me because you don’t hold back.”

“I have had others walk away because of what I said but that is on them. I didn’t say we couldn’t be friends but I did say I wasn’t going to pretend he is a good guy or that I don’t believe they got conned.”

“You know that is kind of rude to tell people that.”

“Don’t care. It is rude to support a man who is determined to line his pockets and stroke his own ego regardless of the consequences. I can’t and won’t ignore it.

So they can ignore what I write/say and avoid talking politics or they can walk. I still hope they wake up and that 30 years or more will lend weight to my words.

Truth is without those decades and experiences I probably would have walked myself, but I don’t let go of the people worth salvaging unless there are no options.


Friendship Trumped By A Fool

And the honest truth is one or two of them did things last year that define what it means to be a good friend.

When my dad was dying and some other exceptionally difficult things were going on they went out of their way to make sure I was ok and did things no one else offered.

I can’t ignore or forget that.

They kept me going when I had trouble standing and I am grateful.

But there are others who don’t have that and even though we have history they seem to think that they can get away with the same bullshit as Trump.

The thing is they can’t because they haven’t any leverage. I can’t kick Trump out of office, fire him or implement the 25th amendment on my own.

But I can point out their repetition of lies, ask them why his or their hypocrisy shouldn’t be called out and rub their noses in it if they get nasty.

And some of them have so I have returned the favor.

I don’t like it, but I won’t be bullied or let others think bullying is acceptable.

Enough is enough and some lines will always exist.

Letters

Saw someone write Happy Birthday Honey and for kicks almost added a line of my own, “yeah Happy Birthday Honey” but I didn’t.

Cue Music and silly thoughts about how it applies but then again it doesn’t.

Put the letters on the page with real thoughts, feelings and ideas and wonder what it all means, if it means anything at all.

Blurred lines and shades of gray have made appearances different than they once were and so I ask if the feelings that flow through are legitimate or otherwise.

Gut says yes, they are fine, they are real, they are justified and legitimate.

Head says it is complicated because of societal details and social mores. Followed by “you can accept or fight them, it doesn’t make a difference or does it.”

Moments in time flow past and I wonder what is sensible, reasonable and acceptable. Who makes those choices and who makes those decisions.

What was black and white is gray and what I lean towards now is in the shadows except those shadows don’t represent bad.

They just represent the possibility and opportunity of potential.

It intrigues me, pulls me closer and I think what would lips upon lips feel like.

Forbidden or promise.

Every time I believe I have figured out what direction it all will head in I am thrown for a loop and proven to not be as clairvoyant as I might wish.

So I look at the stars, make a wish and tell the Shmata Queen I would take her to lunch or dinner to celebrate her birthday if she wanted.