The JackB

Today was the last day of school for a high school senior who calls me father. Ok, that is not the term she uses for me but it is accurate because I am her father.

I started blogging while she was what some would call In Utero and given it won’t be long before her 18th birthday rolls around it occurs to me I really have been doing this for a while.

In many ways this blog in all its aspects (blogger and self-hosted) is the history of a girl’s life. It is not what you would call chapter and verse but it is not supposed to be.

Many of the best and or most interesting stories have been left out because she deserves to build her own digital footprint and because I don’t have ownership of it all anymore.

There are multiple boundaries that I try to be cognizant of because in the world she is growing up in it is not uncommon for people to search for information about others. Some of her friends have found bits and pieces of things and we have had discussions about that.

It is strange sometimes to realize how much of a life she has that I am barely aware of. Makes sense because it was the same when I was her age, but still surreal in a way.

Conversations

The time of her living at home on a full time basis is coming to an end and so I find myself trying to engage in more conversations about multiple topics.

We talked often before this time arrived, but something about it has pushed me to try to cram more in.

Pushed me to reiterate lessons I hope she has learned and information that may not have sunk in because she was younger when she first got it.

I recognize in many ways she is who she is and that if her character isn’t of a certain nature already it is too late.

The good news is I am pleased and proud with and of who she is but it doesn’t mean there is no interest in a gentle push here and there

I shared the Ben Franklin quote above with her and she asked what point I was trying to make.

“Lots of people will try to motivate you to do different things with quotes from famous people. Lots of them won’t ever have given any thought to what the quote means or what context it was originally given in.

Never stop thinking and don’t let people tell you that rights that have been held by all Americans for decades ought to be adjusted just because a minority dislikes them. What we give away cannot aways be taken back with any sort of ease on both large and small scale.”

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She sat with it for a while and then I told her she could take it solely on a political level or she could see an application on a personal level too.

There might be better quotes and or better ways to drive home the points I want her to take but there isn’t time to get too deep into searching for them and that is ok.

It is surreal to think she is almost on her way out of here, the baby isn’t a baby anymore.

Yesterday she was in preschool and I was so much younger myself. Today we are both far older and tomorrow, well we’ll leave tomorrow where it is as it will come soon enough.

A colleague started a blog last month but I didn’t read any of their posts nor comment on what they were doing.

My time is more limited than it has been and my interest level was low. Blame that upon their poor email writing skills.

They lack structure, contain grammatical errors and serve as a tool for curing insomnia so I had limited reason to believe a blog would be an improvement.

Fate smiles upon the judgmental so I was paired with them for an assignment and they asked me if they remembered hearing that I had worked in marketing.

“Yes, I have some experience there.”

“I recently started writing one of those blogs people do.  I want to use it to make money. I am going to make some Tik-Tok videos and do some other stuff that I’ll place there. But I need to get people to read it. Could you look at it and tell me what you think. I need to know how to promote it.”

I told him to remember some people are internet famous and that doesn’t translate into income.

“Hell you could be talking to the greatest dad blogger you never read.”

“What is a dad blogger?”

I reframed and refocused the conversation about the task that pays the bills and let the opportunity to market myself go.

Anonymity

I am semi-anonymous online and that is mostly by choice. Some of you know my name and some have broken bread in-person multiple times.

Most of that is by choice, but there are a few who found out through other means and though there are good stories tied into that we’ll set them aside for the moment.

There are more than 10,000 posts in this blog on a wide variety of topics and a limited upside to being read for professional colleagues.

Should they be found I am confident and comfortable with having a discussion about them but my preference is to not engage.

We’re living in a time in which people are less tolerant and more sensitive on a wide variety of topics and I am sometimes a blunt instrument in my approach.

Why engage and risk irritation if I don’t have to.

That is tied into why this blog doesn’t have pictures of my family or the names of my children. They are entitled to living their own lives and creating their own digital footprints.

It would have been more profitable for me to take a different approach.

Had I used their names and pictures I could have gotten more brand ambassadorships, more sponsorships and more opportunities to become a bigger brand.

That is not how I roll and I know too many stories about other bloggers whose children are irritated about the stories.

It is also why I slowed down on some of the stories as they aged.

My oldest was 3 when I started this and they’ll be 22 this year. If people search for them online they will not find stories they can identify as belonging to him and I am good with that.

My baby will be going to college in the fall. She has no reason to worry about admissions officers turning her down or commenting on anything written about her.

She hasn’t done anything that would serve as grounds for not being accepted but you never know what or how people will interpret things.

Bottom line is my job isn’t to just teach them how to grow up and be good people, it is to protect them however I can…forever.

Most of that has gone through the natural evolution that comes with their not being little children anymore.

They don’t live a life in which they are enveloped in bubble wrap or prevented from taking risk.

Sometimes that is hard because I have seen them make choices I think are questionable, but I let it go because that is how you learn.

They have done a stellar job overall. But you never stop worrying completely and that is ok, it comes with the job description.