Have you ever seen the video of the guy who is so frustrated with his computer he throws it out the window. Stay tuned, I am about to set a record, a world record for distance a computer is thrown. Not sure if that is even a sentence and I don’t care.
I don’t have the patience or energy to explain why or what happened, so I’ll use a juvenile description of a woman I chased for a long time. It started out as a sexual attraction and turned into a friendship that I thought could be and should be something more.
We got along so well, it was easy to spend time together. All day, a week, time didn’t matter. And as mentioned the attraction was there so I tried to facilitate moving things to the next step.
Here is the summary of what happened:
Jack, you are a great guy and I really shouldn’t risk our friendship.
Jack, you are a great kisser and I am not sure that I should be doing this.
Jack, let’s be friends, you mean so much to me.
Jack, you are a great kisser and I am not sure that I should be doing this, but ok.
Jack, let’s be friends, you mean so much to me.
Jack, you are a great kisser and I am not sure that I should be doing this, but ok, you can take my top off but nothing else.
Jack, let’s be friends, you mean so much to me.
Jack, you are a great kisser and I am not sure that I should be doing this, but ok, you can take my top off and I have been thinking about something. What do you think about our sleeping together.
Warning! Idiot Alert ahead
Me: Why, I think that would be a fine idea and we should pursue things, but I have to tell you that I am not able to spend the night with you. Maybe we should put this off for a night or two and do it right.
For those of you who are wondering, I said this intentionally. I thought that I’d use a little reverse psychology and work things to my favor.
Warning! Graphic description ahead
Outcome: I didn’t get laid that night or later on. But I did a fine job of torturing myself unnecessarily.
And now I find that I am wrestling with a computer tease. I want to upgrade some software. It allows me to download the file, begin the installation process and then just when I think that I have made it to the promised land my hopes are dashed with error codes that are meaningless to me.
I am back in Trig staring at my teacher and wondering what the hell it means and why I need to learn any of it. I don’t plan on being an engineer, I don’t need to understand how to build a skyscraper. And if I do need to do so, I know that I can do it because in kindergarten there was no child more proficient at building castles out of blocks.
I feel like Charlie Brown trying to kick that football, I am so close and yet so far. I am Snoopy shaking my fist at the Red Baron. Fuck my Sopwith Camel, I am a 21st century dude, I will buy an F-15 and blow that little fucker out of the sky.
And in a few moments I will take this computer to task, justice will be mine. I can do this, but just in case I can’t, may I suggest that you duck.
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