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"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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War Has Been Declared

April 21, 2005 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

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It is official, I have declared war on the enemy. Fortunately at the Shack there are no Bipartisan politics, no filibusters or PACs to contend with. No lobbyists sully my floors, I run a totalitarian regime in which I am lord and master.

The master of the Shack has cast his gaze upon my adversary and found them lacking in couth, courtesy, honor, dignity, and most unfortunately they have no sense of humor. They find the Marx Brothers boring and the Three Stooges to be boorish. They refer to slapstick as being the province of little minds and little people.

And so the call to arms has gone out and it will be answered by all of good faith and true spirit. We fight for justice and we intend to plow salt into the land of the evil denizens. They will not ever try our patience this way again because we are going to remove their tiny brains from their bodies and pick our teeth with their bones.

Our cause is just and our time is now and most importantly in the name of all that is good and decent in this land we cannot wait any longer.

I look forward to driving the enemy before me and to listen to the lamentations of his women. Or as someone once said to listen to the “laminations of his women.” That makes me laugh every time I think of it.

And now on cue I hear “Have Fun Storming the Castle.”

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