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"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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P Diddy Changes His Name

August 18, 2005 by Jack Steiner 3 Comments

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Does he have ADD? What is his deal. Why does it matter and does anyone really care about his name. Maybe he wants to be famous enough to go by one name like Sting, Cher or Madonna.

Or maybe he is hopeful that one day he’ll be as famous as our favorite Math girl, The Shmata Queen. Speaking of the old queen, she has some equations up for your review and pleasure. Someone ought to speak with her about the transitive process and how she is no longer from that place in ohio.

A=B=C meaning that you have finally gotten out of the hole and into the real world. But it could be worse, she could be Canadian and have a really funny accent and still not know what a real beach is.

Or worse yet she could be a Red Sox fan, which is just slightly worse than being a fan of an AL team. The AL sucks. What the hell is with having a DH. All it does is prolong the career of men who cannot field or are too old to continue playing the game. So much for aging gracefully.

Speaking of fine examples of the AL, whatever happened to Albert Belle. It has been a while since I got to read about him assaulting trick-or-treaters.

I am starting to catch a cold. It sucks. I hate sniffling, it makes me sound like one of the morons who still live in the snow and think that is a good thing. Yes, I am speaking about you again, Shmata Queen. But the good news is that you were smart enough to leave and you will never go back.

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  1. Jack's Shack says

    August 18, 2005 at 8:42 pm

    There is a reason that you do not live in cleveland.

    ‘Pants ho’ kind of sounds like a line of clothing. For example at Abercrombie and Fitch you might ask if they carry the ‘Pants Ho’ line or ‘Shmata Fashions.’

    Reply
  2. Melliferous Pants says

    August 18, 2005 at 8:14 pm

    I’m considering changing my name to “Pants Ho” or “That Bitchy Pants Girl.”

    Maybe I need Ritalin?

    Reply
  3. Stacey says

    August 18, 2005 at 6:40 pm

    Keep dreaming, Surfer Boy. In fact, I’m headed to paradise now. Cleveland, here I come.

    Reply

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