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"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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My Theme Song

December 22, 2006 by Jack Steiner 2 Comments

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You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You’re as cuddly as a cactus,
You’re as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.

You’re a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart’s an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You’ve got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Grinch.

I wouldn’t touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Grinch.

Given the choice between the two of you
I’d take the seasick crockodile.

You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You’re a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Grinch.

The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: “Stink. Stank. Stunk.”

You’re a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You’re the king of sinful sots.
Your heart’s a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Grinch.

Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You’re a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
Mr. Grinch.

You’re a three decker saurkraut and toadstool
sandwich
With arsenic sauce.

Copyright © 1957, Dr. Seuss.
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Comments

  1. Jack's Shack says

    December 22, 2006 at 8:30 am

    Hi Houston,

    If your grief bothered me I wouldn’t show up at your blog. Life is too short to get uptight about too many things.

    Peace to you too.

    Reply
  2. Houston says

    December 22, 2006 at 7:45 am

    As long as you have a theme song. I’m mean, but I’m not unsympathetic. It’s not my job to tell you to lighten up, it’s my job to tell you that I find great value in you just as you are. I just hope you don’t mind my giving you a bit of grief now and then, even if for views passionately held.

    You’re not a mean one, Ramdon Thoughts Grinch.

    Peace and out.

    Reply

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