The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for December 2006

The Chanukah Meme

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Amy Guth is doing a Chanukah blog tour in which she is visiting a variety of bloggers who have taken time to fill out here meme. I am not always great about answering meme’s honestly,
but I’ll do my best here.

In case you are wondering who else is participating on this particular day they include the following bloggers, none of who I am familiar with. Maybe that will change.

Want Some Cheese With That W(h)ine?
True Ancestor
The Shalvster
Not Chosen, Just Posin’

1. Quick! You must turn a plate of latkes into an upscale gourmet
delight (as if they aren’t already?). What would you add to them to dress them
up, flavor and/or garnish them?

I would be quite careful with this. I like the standard latke, but I suppose that I might consider something that added some spice to them. A little Tabasco sauce. Come to think of it, spicy latkes sound pretty damn good.

2. What is the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard anyone say about Chanukah?

Hmm…That is a hard question to answer as I have heard so many stupid things. Someone once told me that they thought that Chanukah was a waste of time. Their rationale went as follows:

1)jesus was King of the Jews (Ed. Note: They weren’t Jewish and I certainly don’t believe this.)
2) Kings have everything they need.
3) Therefore you shouldn’t buy gifts because a king doesn’t need anything.

Not the smartest guy. Nice guy, but not very smart at all. Incredible logic, don’tcha think.

3. What’s the best possible use for olive oil?

Sorry, this blog is PG-13.

4. Settle it once and for all. Latkes or hammentaschen? Which do you prefer? What about pitting the winner of that contest against sufganiyot?

You know this could be a great set-up for Tony Soprano. I wonder if James Gandolfini would be willing to make a guest appearance here at The Shack.

I’d have to tell him that I hated him in The Last Castle. It was terrible.

Ok, back on task. I like Latkes and Hamantaschen. Two different holidays, two different treats. Sufganiyot aren’t bad but why not just inject straight fat into your belly. It is faster.

5. What’s the best way to mix up a game of dreidel?

A blindfold and a bottle of Tequila.

6. My novel, Three Fallen Women, shockingly enough, is about the lives of three women. Which three women would you like to have over this year for latkes and why?

I have been married 9 times. I don’t want any women who aren’t here to clean coming over. Excuse me while I duck and run for cover

7. Other than Three Fallen Women (har har), what book do you think
would make a great Chanukah gift this year? What book would you like to receive as a gift this year?

It is called Fragments of Fiction, but it is not quite ready to be released yet.

8. What bloggers didn’t participate in Chanukah Blog Tour 5767 and you think should have?
(link to them)

The answer to this one is written in invisible ink.

The Agony of Defeat- Vinko Bogataj

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If you were a child/teen living in the US during the ’70s chances are that at some point in time you came across or watched ABC’s Wide World of Sports. The link takes you to a page that offers a video the opening to that show.

Jim McKay offered the following narrative against a montage of athletes performing in their various sports:

“Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport…

the thrill of victory…

and the agony of defeat…

the human drama of athletic competition…

this is ABC’s Wide World of Sports!”

The key part of that was always the line about the agony of defeat. Why? Because of Vinko Bogataj. He was the skier who had that awful crash. More than 30 years later he has become one of those people that stands out from our childhood.

Apparently the man has done ok for himself, which is a good thing considering how his misfortune made him the butt of so many jokes.

Trolls, Antisemites and More

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The beauty of blogging is that you just never know who is going to decide to come and visit your blog. Some of your guests are going to be delightful and others are going to be less delightful. Some of them are going to have manners and some are going to be examples of the worst that man has to offer.

No exaggeration. I mean that wholeheartedly. People will say anything, especially from the safety of their keyboard

Now there are things that you can do try and monitor/moderate the discussion among you and your guests. Technology offers all sorts of tools that you can use to maintain a civil discourse. I have made a point of not using most of those.

The problem with applying filters is that it sometimes catches people that you prefer would be allowed to roam the premises. That is not how I want this blog to operate. It is an open forum in which virtually any comment is allowed to stay.

That doesn’t mean that I do not reserve the right to remove comments for any reason whatsoever. I don’t suffer spam. Blatant ads are removed. Racist comments are generally removed as well.

I say generally removed because sometimes I will leave them up because they help to provide a context for a discussion. I do not do so gratuitously. I just know that sometimes the best way to make a point is to provide a good example.

In case you are wondering what motivated this post it is because of a number of emails and comments I recently received that follow Aryan/Nazi protocol. Some of these fine people would prefer to see me dead, or so they have expressed. Ok, it is not just me, there are quite a few people that they would like to see die.

Since we do not have the pleasure of meeting in person I am not able to provide you with my own special greeting. I would be happy to help you enjoy an extra large dose of STFU and GFY. I do believe that my size 12 boot would lend itself well to this endeavor.

That is all for now.

The Who

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I have been a fan of The Who for many years now. Been listening to them on iTunes for a good chunk of the evening. Here are some lyrics from some of my favorite songs.

“Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?

I woke up in a Soho doorway
A policeman knew my name
He said “You can go sleep at home tonight
If you can get up and walk away”

I staggered back to the underground
And the breeze blew back my hair
I remember throwin’ punches around
And preachin’ from my chair

chorus:
Well, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Tell me, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
‘Cause I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)”
Who Are You
(My 8th grade history teacher used to sing this to us all the time)

“Out here in the fields
I farm for my meals
I get my back into my living
I don’t need to fight
To prove I’m right
I don’t need to be forgiven

Don’t cry
Don’t raise your eye
It’s only teenage wasteland”
Baba O’Riley
(This is one those anthem type songs that you sing/shout with your friends from the back of a convertible.)

“No one knows what it’s like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it’s like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

But my dreams
They aren’t as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That’s never free

No one knows what it’s like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you!

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

But my dreams
They aren’t as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours only lonely
My love is vengeance
That’s never free

When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool

And If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
And If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

No one knows what it’s like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes”
Behind blue eyes
(Somewhere the 19 year-old version of me still listens intently to this song)