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"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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The Faces That Women Want

November 6, 2012 by Jack Steiner 16 Comments

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Rufus T. Firefly: Not that I care, but where is your husband?
Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he’s dead.
Rufus T. Firefly: I bet he’s just using that as an excuse.
Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end.
Rufus T. Firefly: No wonder he passed away.
Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him.
Rufus T. Firefly: Oh, I see, then it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.
Duck Soup 1933

My daughter says she doesn’t like Movember because my face is too scratchy and that girls don’t like hairy faces. I told her I don’t like girls with hairy faces either and she rolled her eyes at me.

She asks me if I ever had any girlfriends before mommy and I tell her I can’t remember that far back but am positive none of them had hairy faces either, but that some of them might have had hairy legs.

“Daddy, I am serious. I want to know.”

Girls and their Questions

I know where these questions come from. My little girl found a bunch of “old” pictures of me from college and wants to know why I had more hair and if I can get the cuts in my stomach back.

She stares at pictures of me at fraternity formals and wants to know why I am wearing a tuxedo and why I didn’t take mommy to those parties. I smile again and remind her that I didn’t know mommy then.

I blame Disney for some of these questions or maybe I should blame myself for letting her watch these shows because that is the source of some of this.

Her brother is tired of these questions and says he doesn’t want to hear about girls. All he wants to talk about are cars and the election.

Boys And Their Questions

Some of this is gender related and some of it age. Both schools are talking about the election but middle school classes have made a bigger push to incorporate it into the curriculum.

He shares with me his concerns and tells me about the things he has heard about President Obama and Governor Romney. We talk about how the presidency is important and about how it is really not just one person running the government.

There is a team of people who come along with POTUS. We need to consider that along with our choice of incumbent or candidate.

It reminds me of a conversation I had with my father when I was about the same age. President Carter was running against Ronald Reagan and school was filled with rumors about what would happen if Reagan came into office or if Carter got another four years.

“Daddy, did you like this girl? Why is she hugging you like that”

“Dad, isn’t there a movie about that hostage thing you mentioned from when you were a kid? Why is she hugging you like that? Her legs are wrapped around you?”

It is not the first time they have tag teamed me with questions. I smile and tell them to take a breath and I will answer their questions.

“Her name is Lori. I was giving her a piggy back ride and yes, there is a movie called Argo that deals with things that happened during the hostage crisis.”

They look down at the picture and back up at me. I haven’t exaggerated or made anything up. I remember the picture. I did give Lori a piggyback ride.

“She was just a friend. We had races at the fraternity. Lori and I took on a few other people”

My daughter looks at me and says, “you didn’t shave in that photo. Maybe if you had she would have been a girlfriend.”

I can’t help but laugh, she is cute.

Words About Writing

I am supposed to be the featured writer at another site tomorrow. As part of that I turned in a post about writing that is supposed to share some of my thoughts about writing.

It is not as eloquent as I wanted it to be. I wanted it to be distilled wisdom from Twenty-Five Links That Will Make You A Better Writer/Blogger but think I might have fallen short.

I need to go back to Building a Future and some of the other stories and weave them together.

If you asked me to share a post I am proud of I might suggest you read Blogging Every Day Is Easy- The Class Of ’69 Speaks. I like that one. It was fun and it flowed freely from my fingertips.

Bed time calls to me

This was part of Just Write #60. It has become a post I look forward to writing each week.

P.S. If you are in the U.S. and eligible to vote please remember to go out and do so. If I had my druthers I might vote for Rufus T. Firefly. 😉

You have to respect the man that ruled Freedonia. Duck Soup forever.
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Filed Under: Just Write

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Comments

  1. liz says

    November 8, 2012 at 10:32 am

    You never know what will come out of your children’s mouths. I love that they are inquisitive.

    Found you via Just Write. Glad I discovered your blog!

    Liz

    Reply
    • Jack says

      November 8, 2012 at 11:08 pm

      Hi Liz,

      Welcome to the blog. Kids are great. They really are so very much fun.

      Reply
  2. Bill Dameron says

    November 6, 2012 at 5:30 pm

    Hmm, Well I am rather fond of beards and mustaches, but neatly trimmed. My girls would tag team me with questions, much like the raptors on Jurassic park searching for the weak point. When they thought they found it, I would always trump it with “Because I said so!” I envy your ability to write so well everyday. I agonize over my posts….

    Reply
    • Jack says

      November 7, 2012 at 1:08 am

      Hi Bill,

      I agonize over my posts too. I hate some of them, but they get published because of the benefits:

      1) Sometimes people love the stuff I don’t.
      2) I like being able to measure my progress and publishing makes it easier to do so.

      That line about Jurassic Park raptors hit home for me. I know how that goes,

      Reply
  3. Christie tate says

    November 6, 2012 at 6:20 am

    There’s nothing I love more than conversations with wee ones.

    Reply
    • Jack says

      November 7, 2012 at 1:09 am

      Yeah, I love those conversations- so much fun. They are funny and sweet.

      Reply
  4. Betsy Cross says

    November 6, 2012 at 4:06 am

    I’m with your daughter. I hate beards and mustaches, too. They are itchy and collect food.
    Makes me shiver just thinking about it!
    I often wonder if there’s a grand secret to fielding multiple questions at the same time. I hold up my finger in the direction of children who come late to the conversation, but as of yet it hasn’t worked. “This means ‘wait, it’s not you turn’ ” How does God do it-answering all those billions of questions at the same time?
    One huge and probably unimportant mystery.

    Reply
    • Jack says

      November 7, 2012 at 1:10 am

      When people ask me what I do about the food that collects in my beard I tell them it is a good way to make sure I always have a snack on me. 😉

      As for G-d, well if he/she is omnipotent answering questions is easy. Of course I haven’t gotten a response in a while which makes me wonder if my questions are really hard. 😉

      Reply
  5. Shonali Burke says

    November 6, 2012 at 2:53 am

    I think this may have been my favorite part: “My daughter looks at me and says, ‘you didn’t shave in that photo. Maybe if you had she would have been a girlfriend.’ ”

    HAHAH!!!

    Reply
    • Kaarina Dillabough says

      November 6, 2012 at 8:12 am

      I’m with you Shonali…outta the mouths of babes:)

      Reply
      • Jack says

        November 7, 2012 at 1:08 am

        Hey now, don’t call my girl a baby or she’ll come after you. She is feisty. 😉

        Reply
    • Jack says

      November 7, 2012 at 1:11 am

      Shonali,

      I ought to tape some of the conversations I have with my daughter. She is full of lines like the one about the girlfriend.

      Reply
  6. hilljean says

    November 6, 2012 at 1:32 am

    I loved this piece. It was so simple but something about the layout made it powerful. Like a well timed joke.

    Found you on Just Write

    Reply
    • Jack says

      November 7, 2012 at 1:12 am

      Thank you. I am glad you liked it. I love Just Write. It has been so much fun and a great way to meet new writers.

      Reply
  7. Stan Faryna says

    November 6, 2012 at 1:28 am

    I enjoyed the dialogue with your children.

    Reply
    • Jack says

      November 7, 2012 at 1:12 am

      Thank you Stan.

      Reply

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