Why Must Stupidity Be Contagious

A bad case of stupid seems to be going around. There is an abundance of morons, the supply of idiots seems to exceed the demand. And the worst part of this is that I seem to be exuding the imbecile pheromone in waves.

I know, that seems to be an excessive use of language to expound upon the extreme irritation that I feel. At the moment I want to be the guy leading the villagers to torch the damn castle. Give me a broad sword and a doorway and I swear to you that I none shall pass.

WTF, STFU and a healthy dose of assorted curse words don’t begin to properly express the frustration and anger I feel.

I am trying…struggling…to properly explain what set me off, but words fail me. I can’t quite get it out in a responsible fashion, so I am going to babble and rant for a moment.

One of the benefits of being a responsible adult is that I recognize that my actions have consequences. I understand that acting in haste and anger does not serve me well. So even though I am dying to tell you in excruciating detail about the company and individuals who are the source of this, I am not going to.

Not yet.

I am not going to because they deserve special attention. They merit the sort of treatment that gives CEOs and shareholders palpitations.

So Mr and Mrs. Stupidhead (five year old insults are great, aren’t they) I am notifying you that I have been documenting your actions for quite some time. I notified you repeatedly about these infractions and you agreed that this was unacceptable.

But you have chosen to ignore all of this so I am going to follow through. Your reign of terror is going to end. I am going to take you down a notch or two, myabe even five or six.

And when it is all done, when the dust has cleared we’ll probably find that this was completely unnecessary. Just one stupid moment in time, but stupid is as stupid does, and you are stupid heads.

Alas poor Yorick, I knew him well.

 

  • http://www.absenceofalternatives.com subWOW

    It seems to be Un-PC nowadays to call stupid people stupid. But the fact is: just like there are geniuses in the world, there are indeed stupid people in the world. (No, I am not referring to the mentally challenged folks.) I found this new rule submitted to Bill Maher’s website to be quite helpful in my coping with stupid people: “New Rule: Stop acting outraged when stupid people say stupid things . . . . THEY”RE STUPID! What do you expect to come out of some psycho’s mouth? The Magna Carta? They’re still learning the Macarena. Now I’m not here to refudiate anybody, but I think there are two types of people: People who believe in facts and science, and people who think the phrase ‘Blood Libel’ is the name of the new Steven Segal film.”

    • http://www.thejackb.com/ Jack

      I don’t see any reason not to call stupid people stupid- or at least I don’t at 1 am. Love that quote from Bill Maher’s site. It is really funny.

  • http://chicktuition.com/ jacqui

    I just hate it when stupidheads don’t just try to do the right thing and, instead, end up earning the wrath of the one person you don’t want to piss off…the good guy. Oh well…maybe they’ll learn eventually.

    • http://www.thejackb.com Jack

      Yep, in this case I am the good guy and were I to share all the sordid tales you would say so too. It would also include the much stronger terms, descriptions and words that are needed to convey the story.

  • http://www.bellebeanchicagodog.com liz

    I feel strongly that the non-stupid people should be allowed to whoop some stupid butt whenever we see fit.

    • http://www.thejackb.com Jack

      That would make me very happy. International Rage Against Stupidity day is coming.

  • http://www.daddoes.com Dan Dad Does

    I think you need to learn to embrace stupidness is all its glory. Embrace the wonders of stupidity that occur everyday. Then, after you have done the above exercise, storm the castle!

    • http://www.thejackb.com/ Jack

      I am all about that one last stupid, yet futile gesture. ;)

  • http://www.mylifestylemax.com Stacey Herbert

    ” STFU stupidhead”..ok, a blatant paraphrase, but I couldn’t help it. This post made me laugh. I get like that too. Sometimes you give people every conceivable opportunity to get it right, or make amends and they still ..well…FU!

    Sometimes you have to get all down and dirty and let them know this this behaviour is not expectable. I’m prolific when it comes to letter writing to big nameless faceless companies who are taking the piss.

    I dare say who ever is about the experience the wrath of Jack ought to be afraid..very afraid..this is no joking matter. You do make me laugh. I love this blog. It’s different, and that’s what we need..

    • http://www.thejackb.com/ Jack

      Letter writing is important. Far too many people let things go because they consider it to be too much work. I try to pick and choose my battles, but it you get my attention I am as tenacious as they come.

  • http://renbimo.blogspot.com Carina

    I look forward to hearing about the crime and punishment of Mr. and Mrs. Stupidhead. May they grow like onions with their heads in the ground…

    • http://www.thejackb.com Jack

      That is a good curse- as is I hope that they should lose all of their teeth- except for one. And may they have a toothache in it.

  • http://www.startyournovel.com Bell

    The worst thing about stupidity is that it’s unpredictable.

    When you think you’ve seen everything, somebody comes up with a new angle on stupidity.
    Stupidity is creative. That’s why it is so dangerous.

    I read a book once that argued stupidity is not a lack of intelligence, but a purposeful narrowing of intelligence for… for stupid ends.

    • http://www.thejackb.com Jack

      You are so right- it is unpredictable and at times, sadly overwhelming.

  • http://www.alwaysjacked.com Alan

    Both obesity and happiness have been proven contagious. This is hardly surprising. And would explain quite a bit.

    Hope that all is well and that you are preparing a truly epic rant. (You know how I love a good rant.)

    • http://www.thejackb.com Jack

      If you listen carefully you can hear my voice echoing from the wreckage of Marshall Fields. This shall not be forgotten or forgiven.

  • http://TalkativeTaurus.com Talkative Taurus

    Mr. and Mrs. Stupidhead are totally appropriate and awesome in pretty much any situation! I am behind you cheering you on, and I hope you get exactly what you want. Now go wield that sword, Mister!

    • http://www.thejackb.com Jack

      That sword would be fun to use but far too quick for these people. They need to feel pain and suffering. I am giving into the dark side. ;)