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Life is a state of perpetual confusion punctuated by moments of clarity.” Uttered by the mythological creature known as TheJackB. Shortly thereafter he solved five of the world’s greatest math problems, discovered a cleaner and cheaper source of energy and composed 16 new songs. Oh, did I mention that this included a dirge to be played at his funeral.

That is a happy thought isn’t it, a dirge to be played at a funeral. It is even better when you consider that said dirge is supposed to be played at my funeral. Well listen up kiddies. I am going to outlive most of you. I am 42 years-old and have great genes not to mention awesome blue jeans. Don’t go telling anyone else this, but the wacky Shmata Queen once said that she liked the way my butt looked in said jeans. Excuse me for a moment while I duck, I would hate to be smacked in the head with that giant black purse she carries.

Fortunately I am quite safe. My head is far too hard to be hurt by such things.

There is one hell of a post brewing inside my mind now. I have a story that I could tell that would break your heart, melt your soul and cause you to weep and wail. But at the moment I just can’t bring myself to tell it. I suppose in part it is because I am given to long bouts of loopy behavior. Yes, I just called myself a wingnut and I am good with that. I see the world differently than many do. I stand on the outside looking in. Although the funny thing about saying that is that I am one of millions who say the same thing. In fact I read 7 posts today by people who said that they stand on the outside looking in.

It makes for a funny image inside my head. I picture all of us standing around a house looking through the window. Which leads me to think that maybe we aren’t the ones who are on the outside. Maybe it is the people inside the fishbowl that we have created. I dunno.

In other news I stirred the pot about the newest list of the top dad bloggers. They came up with 50 but used funny metrics to do so. I was tempted to write about why I think these things are ridiculous but then I realized that I just did. Let’s face it, most of us bloggers are pleased to be on a list that says that we are among the top 50 of anything. It feels good and it often comes with a nifty little badge that you can place on your blog. Damn if I can’t get enough of those badges and the accolades that come from having them.

On a semi-serious note I am continuing to slam those people who use prizes and giveaways to generate their traffic. Yes, look down my nose at those who call themselves bloggers but do not produce real content.  You people are gaming the system which reminds me that there are ways for me to compete such as typing Click here to get Naked Pictures of Brad Pitt, Kim Kardashian and Angelina Jolie. That ought to be good for SEO.

Sometimes I like to let my hair down and lose the serious posts for a while. I spend far too many hours talking about more effective marketing techniques or how a father should talk to his children about life, death, sex, marriage and education. Damn, I mentioned serious and now I am busy thinking about whether the universe really does send you signs and how to identify them. I am busy thinking about the two major regrets of my life and how I can change them. You see, I can’t quite let go of either. I won’t say that they haunt me, but I am not done with them.

Not done for a variety of reasons not the least of which is heart and head aren’t ready to let go which leads me to believe that there is work to be done there. I like taking the road less traveled and seeing where it leads. I like driving wherever the road takes me and having adventures along the way. Sometimes I feel like I am starring in a Marx Brothers movie except instead of playing Groucho I am the straight man and that my friends isn’t what I want to do in a Marx Brothers movie.

I’d like to take Maxwell’s Silver Hammer and crack a few people in the head. Unfortunately doing so wouldn’t solve the challenges I currently face nor would there be a Yellow Submarine to use for my escape. Ultimately I am ok with that because these mysterious challenges I refer to are making me crazy because they are off in the distance. I don’t like waiting. I want to confront them now so that I can force the issue and move ahead. It is not really a smart way of doing things so I refer back to my letter to my children and the advice I gave them.

It is smart and it is wise. I would be foolish to ignore it, but you know me- sometimes I am the fool who would dance in the fire for that one chance. Come to think of it if the Rapture comes I am supposed to burn or so some people tell me. Hah, I beat them to it, Been burning for a while now so what difference does it make.

Ok kiddies, it is 1:30 AM and I should have gone to sleep two hours ago. Start firing up the comments or go join the Facebook Fan Page. There are no prizes to be had for doing so, at least not now. But you never know, there might be in the future, assuming that the world doesn’t end on Saturday. I sort of hope it doesn’t because I got a lot of things that I want to do. If it did end it would be kind of like not playing the Immunity Idol in survivor. What I mean, is that I have a few aces hidden up my sleeve that I am waiting to play. Would be more than a little disappointed to see those waited.

And with that I bid you adieu and ask you to keep your eyes peeled for the absolutely amazing post that is coming.

 

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