Dad bloggers get paid to blog. That is my contribution to the SEO efforts of the evening. As is my custom I am writing this a few minutes after midnight except unlike most nights I am exhausted.
Smarter men than I would have just gone to sleep but I was determined to participate in this edition of Just Write. Played two hours of basketball today and spent 30 minutes on the treadmill. Two hours of chasing younger men up and down the court. Two hours of proving to myself that I have found a way to stop the clock.
Now two hours and three sets of push ups later I am almost ready to go to sleep. Would have done so earlier but I had to work on my NanoWrimo story. Haven’t been as happy with it as I would like to be but that it is not unusual. There have been more than a few occasions upon which I looked at my words and rolled my eyes in disgust.
Tonight I read through my contribution and decided that it didn’t work so I started a second option. Pumped out and polished about 12,000 words that I need to review. Need to sift through it all and see if it makes sense or if I have created some cockamamie concoction that stinks.
I know how to tell a story. It has a beginning, middle and end. In between there are nouns, verbs and adjectives that are used as the secret sauce. They are the spice that provides the flavor and the sauce that makes the desert something more than ordinary. But it is hard for me to see whether I have been successful. My perspective is skewed. Sometimes I am too hard and sometimes I am too easy on myself.
But I am pushing. The time to do more is now. The time to talk about it was yesterday. I can’t wait any longer. Today is when it happens. Today is when I turn words into deeds and actions into stories.
I am excited but I am scared. I haven’t any doubt that I can do this but my fear walks with me and wonders if I can do it right. Can I live up to or exceed my potential. There is only one way to find out and that is to do what I am doing. I am trying. I am pushing. I am asking for help. It is not easy for me. I don’t like doing it and I am not sure that I am asking the right questions but I am doing my best.
If all goes as I wish my best will lead into new opportunities and this dad blogger will get paid to blog. That is what I want. I want to earn enough to support my family. I tell my children that they need to push to live their dreams and not dream their lives. I can do no less.
And now I am going to sleep where I will dream of many things some of which I may share later. Life is meant to be lived and that is how I shall live it.