Dark Doesn’t Mean Bad or Scary

Can’t stop listening to Johnny sing this song. Those lyrics stab me in the heart and remind me of things from the past. I hear the ghosts in my head rattling their chains and I wonder if I need to climb into the attic to confront them or if I need to just let them run their course.

Thing is that either way the echoes remain and for a time they occupy deep and dark places.

Dark doesn’t mean bad or scary, at least not in this instance. This time it just refers to something that I have pushed away and buried because I couldn’t or wouldn’t give it away. So it lurks upon the edges of my mind and I go about my daily affairs.

In between the moments I write quick blurbs and share fragments of them with whomever it is that reads these words.

I know what my heart says, but my head says don’t be a fool. Don’t write these things down because you sound crazy. Don’t open the door and don’t look back.

But you don’t become a writer unless you know how to dream. And the very best dreams come from the heart- source of passion, power and magic.

Much of my writing comes from the music I hear. Some of it are songs I hear in my head and some of them are songs that you can hear too. I have learned how to delve deep within my mind and how to rekindle the flames that once burned.

I know how to build a fire that roars and sometimes I dance around it. It is my own expression and one that I retain solely for my own use. I suppose that I would try to show and share it with you but I don’t know if you would get it so I just don’t.

Just stumbled onto that and am smiling broadly. Johnny and Joe are both gone but they both made music that moved me, so did Bob Marley. I wonder if one day my children will be as moved by them and others as I am.

Today we had parent/teacher conferences for the kids. I always expect them to go well. I always expect to hear good things because I have good kids but I also practice realistic parenting.

My children are amazing but they aren’t perfect. They fight and they get into trouble. I don’t discount the possibility that one day I might hear a report of problems in school and I refuse to be one of those parents who is in denial.

It is even more important to keep my eyes open now because there is more going on. I know that the current confusion won’t last and some of the craziness will subside soon but my perception of time is far different than theirs.

Are You On Pinterest?

Are you on Pinterest? I am and I use it daily. I am still shocked to say that I am there but I keep finding little things that stimulate thoughts and ideas.  I posted one picture of our old kitchen:


I was surprised by the feeling of loss I felt when I saw the picture. Maybe it is because I remember how hard we worked to build that sucker. Maybe it is because I did some of that work myself and now I don’t have it any more.

It was a great kitchen for us, but it won’t be the last. There will come a time when there will be another. Truth is that I want a bigger space with an island and maybe a breakfast nook.

Kitchens are important because they are the heart of the house but the spark of life that makes that heart pump is the people. Later on today I might have to blog about that experience again.

For now I am busy thinking about what I want from my writing and how to finish the monster project I have hanging over my head. I am thinking about what to do with my children and whether I can find time to take a nap.

Because that is part of my life sometimes it is Just Write.

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7 Comments

  1. Pingback: What Happens When The Rabbi's Daughter Sleeps With The Priest's Son

  2. Hajra March 10, 2012 at 11:52 am

    I am reading Cash’s autobiography and I can now put so many things about music you talk about into perspective. He writes it so beautifully that it feels like he is talking to us through that book. Cash is an inspiration and will always be. Enough said.

  3. bridgetstraub.com March 7, 2012 at 8:02 am

    It’s funny that you keep discussing Johnny. I just watched Walk The Line and Almost Famous with my 12 year old daughter this weekend.

  4. Canadian Dad March 7, 2012 at 12:26 am

    I’m fortunate enough that my music idol, Neil Young, is still around to produce the music I love so much.

    I think our kids will find their way with music, it’ll just be a different flavor than what we’re used to. Might not be our tastes but I’m guessing Johnny and Neil don;t make much sense to them either.

    First time reader but big time music enthusiast!

    Cheers!

    • Jack March 7, 2012 at 9:32 am

      Hi CD,

      Welcome to the blog. I expect that you are right about our children and their taste in music.

      I want them to find their own way, but I am trying to ensure that they enjoy some of mine too. 😉

      Neil Young is pretty cool, I like most of his stuff.

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