Nor is it about A Whiter Shade of Pale or A Telephone Call. It is much closer to Stupid Blog Tricks- The Difference Between The Best & Most Popular.
That is because I am feeling frustrated by all the things that are preventing me from dedicating time to write. I feel stifled and that is not something that I do well with.
Words Are My Tears
Words are my tears and my laughter. Writing is where I go when I need to express my pain and my joy. It is where I sort and sift through my thoughts and figure out what I want to do and what I need to do.
There is a big difference between need and want. I know the difference because I have had countless hours to think about it. I have dedicated more than a moment to determining what is and what shall be.
And I am paying a price for it. I am taking a beating in a million different ways because it has to be this way…for now. That is because when you make certain choices in life you find out that as you close doors they lock behind you. You can’t go backwards and there is no exit other than that at the end of the tunnel- so you go through.
The Boundaries Of Blogging
I write about this a lot, these boundaries that I see. They might not be the same for you, the boundaries of blogging that is. They exist for me because some topics can’t be discussed without raising issues for others.
When those topics touch upon my children I act more conservatively than I might otherwise. There are some things that they don’t need to be involved in. There are some discussions that they never need be a part of so instead of writing as candidly as I would like to I talk around them.
It is not necessarily enjoyable to be cryptic or talk in circles but sometimes that is what dad has to do. Frankly the beating I am taking comes because I am doing my best to protect them.
There have been moments where I have wondered if my trying to do so has created more problems for them and for me, but I tend not to think so. I know some people like to share everything with their kids and I applaud that…to a point.
I want my kids to be kids for as long as they can. One day they’ll be old enough to ask me what a daddy blogger does and I’ll share some of these posts with them If it goes as I wish it will be a time when these few hiccups will have been settled and I’ll smile.
I’ll smile because I’ll remember how in the midst of some very tough times the blog started to take off. I’ll talk about how the struggle made for great blog fodder and I did my best to turn the chaos and the crazy into posts that made people laugh, smile and or cry.
And I’ll continue to pull quotes from posts like this and serve them up for you and I to read
And I will do what is required so that I can determine whether the ghosts I see are the spirits of the future or the shades of the past. And in the midst of it all I will continue to hold out my hand so that you can take it. Because I never stopped being your hero and I never gave up.
Because I am running with the moon again. It is me and that big white orb that looks down upon this big blue marble. We are in our secret world where I look up at the sky and talk. That place where I say that I am trying to figure out the difference between seeing what I want to see and receiving signs from the universe.
I Hear Music
Fifteen minutes ago I was in a dark mood and a dark place. I was frustrated because these words that I talk about were stuck inside my head. Responsibilities and technical difficulties were thwarting my desire to get here and my effort to rectify that wasn’t working.
But I kept fighting, kept pushing and I made it here. I made it here and now I hear the music.
Now I hear the song of my heart and my soul is singing and if I could only give up sleep I would write all night long. But morning shall come too soon and there are deadlines that I cannot push away or put off.
Good night my friends. I shall see you tomorrow.