One day when my children ask me to tell them what kinds of books, movies and stories I like to write I will show them the scene above. I will tell them that it is the sort of moment that makes their dad sit up and take notice.
I’ll tell them that it taps into a million different thoughts, dreams and moments. I’ll say that it touches me and it makes me feel and that this is what I want my writing to do for others.
And then I’ll show them a few more clips like this one
and this one
That’s because dad has been dancing in the fire for a thousand years and probably will for a thousand more. It is what I do. It is who I am. It is a part of me and I no longer remember when it wasn’t.
Life Isn’t Fair
The kids and I have been talking again about what is fair and what isn’t. I have done my best to protect their innocence but I haven’t lied to them about life being unfair.
It is not fair. It never was and it never will be. There are moments where it is cruel, merciless and downright mean.
But that doesn’t mean that there is no magic nor majesty. It doesn’t mean that we should lie down and give in to the hard times because that is not who we are either.
The point and the purpose of talking to them about it is to set the ground rules. They need to understand that are responsible for our own happiness and obligated to work hard to get what we need and what we want.
There is no shame in that. Accomplishment is to be celebrated.
Last night the three remaining men in the family went to see Spiderman. Three generations, grandfather, son and grandson took a few moments out of the day to share and celebrate.
I spent a chunk of the night watching the look on my son and father’s faces. I did it because that was magical to me. Happiness radiated from the two of them and I couldn’t stop watching them continue to build the sort of relationship I once had with my grandfathers.
It was beautiful and I loved seeing it grow.
If you are among the long times readers you know that I miss my grandparents, especially my grandfathers. You know that I got to be quite close with them both. They were important to me for a million reasons not the least of which is that I never stopped learning from them.
So how can I not feel my heart swell when I see it happening again. Maybe that is why they both showed up in my dreams last night.
We talked about life and I told them things that I won’t share here. They said what they had to say and I listened.
When I woke up I was happy to have had the time. Don’t care if it was a real visitation or just my imagination because it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I woke up with a deeper understanding of some things.
The dark haired beauty is counting down the days until her actual birthday. She throws her arms around my neck, kisses my face and tells me to shave because my face is too scratchy.
I rub my face against hers and she squeals with laughter. She yells catch me and takes off running.
For a few minutes we run from room to room and I make sure to almost get her but not quite.
This girl of mine tells me to sit down because she has written songs and she wants to sing them to me. She makes a point to brush my hair so that it meets with her liking and then she tells me that they are romantic songs but not written for a boy.
When I ask why she is writing romantic songs she smiles. The whole point is to get a reaction from me. I know this game so for a moment I keep a blank expression and then I tell her that I am going to punch all the boys in the nose.
She roars with laughter because she thinks she has me. Ok, maybe she does just a little bit.
I think of a scene in Spiderman in which a father catches a boy in his daughter’s room and think about days to come when that could happen. I am not ready for it, but she wants to grow up now.
Life has been busier than I like and far more complicated. I need to restructure things so that I get more time to write. There are words to be written and stories to be told and I feel the proverbial grains of sand slipping through my fingers with ever increasing speed.
So I am doing my best to capture these moments and burn them into memories.
It is what I do because sometimes I just write.