It is a Friday night and I am irritated about nothing and everything. Really, I don’t know exactly what is bothering me, other than about 15 things. Here is a brief list in no particular order:
1) That I have to consider what I am willing to share here because lord knows who reads it and how it could impact me. I try not to write about the job so that I cannot be punished as other bloggers have been. I try not to write about things that the people who are important to me will be upset about. And at the same time my I don’t really care what most people think attitude kicks in. In just a moment words on how I contradict myself.
2) My current position in life. I am not satisfied with my financial status. I don’t need a million dollars a year or anything close to that, but I do want to be able to support my family and not worry about how to pay for every little thing every month.
3) I love warm weather, but it is like 86 degrees outside and almost 11 PM. I am ready for something in the 70s. This heat is perfect for setting up some kind of Phillip Marlowe story.
4) More on my position in life. I don’t know where I want to be religiously. I feel like a mutt. I am drawn to Modern Orthodoxy, but not quite there, enjoy aspects of conservatism and am not satisfied there either. And I am posting on Shabbos which on the one hand doesn’t bother me because I believe that there is a “Shabbosy connection” here in which I am still fulfilling some of my obligations. And at the same time my thoughts are that I shouldn’t reveal this because what will my religious friends/readers think. And it is tempered by my who cares attitude. Told you that there were contradictions here.
5) Candidates for President- I don’t like Bush and I don’t like Kerry. I’d offer my services, but I am not polished enough to smile while I stab people in the back. Wait, I’ll smile but only if I stick it in through your heart. If I am angry enough to stab you it can only mean one of two things. A) You are a vampire and I am saving lives by ridding the world of you. B) You really managed to piss me off. I am a Taurus and there are some real similarities between the bull and I. It takes a little work to get my attention, but if you get it in that manner I want to trample you so that I don’t have to worry about you being a problem anymore.
6) Reality TV contestants who cannot leave the game behind. You played and it is over. Deal with it. Only a few people have the real goods to keep it going.
7) I can’t play the guitar. I never took lessons and have no excuse for not playing, but I said that this was a list of things that aggravate me.
8) Hypocrisy and people who make stupid lists.- Damn I just realized that I need to smack myself twice. I hate getting caught like that.
9) I am overtired. I should be sleeping now, but I cannot make myself go to bed. My son went to bed at 9 and my wife just grabbed my daughter a short time ago. I need time to decompress, I just don’t unwind quickly.
10) I miss Summer break. I miss wandering around Jerusalem and I miss being able to do what I want without regard for anyone else.
Ok, that is enough. In truth I have a good life and for the most part these are trivial complaints. I really am very independent and I do miss my life as a bachelor. But I can say that overall I am much happier now and that this is better for me, but the grass is always greener on the other side. And that is why I am going to cut-off the water over there so that they can look at a brownish, dead lawn too. 😉