I have been wrestling with myself for some time now. It has been a mighty battle of epic proportions. It has involved night sweats, hallucinations, shaking, shivering, shimmying and flip-flopping. It even included a little shake and bake and some juke and jive.
And what is the reason behind this. What can I attribute all of this craziness to? My blog. I haven’t posted a new entry because I was trying to get more work done prior to visiting my new girlfriend Bloggie. Not a very sexy name. And for that matter, not the greatest body, kind of flat and lacking tone. Her skin color is kind of dull and there is some real blotchiness.
But my, she is sexy. She get’s old Jack doing things like the young boy he remembers of his youth. I sing to her, I tell her my innermost secrets. I whisper sweet nothings to her. And my little bloggie, she listens. But she is one hell of a gossip.
My bloggie can’t help but tell anyone who asks about everything I have said. Come to think of it, the little slut will give the same attention to anyone. Although I should add that old Bloggie is not homophobic, she likes men and women. Really she is more like a “trisexual” because she’d do this with a dog, monkey, horse or giraffe if I let her.
Oh Bloggie, what have you done to me. You have taken my words and allowed me to imprint them upon your soul. I feel so lucky.