Today I ventured out into the wild world of Home Depot. I have to repair a gate, replace some Malibu lights, grab a few other odds and ends and who knows what else. So I hopped into the trusty CRV and bounced onto the freeway.
Since it is LA I made sure to cut off a couple of Hummers, flip the bird to the guy in the Porsche, stopped at Starbucks to drop a script off with an agent and still managed to not get shot on the freeway. I am so incredible, my LA ego can’t take it.
And now with the poor attempt at satire out of the way I should mention that anytime I say that I am going to Home Depot or Costco the wife wants to confiscate the checkbook, credit cards and anything that I might barter for products and services.
I love these two joints, there is so much to buy. Just cool stuff that you really need, even if you don’t use it everyday.
For years I have said that when the big earthquake hits I want to be at Costco. I’ll wait for the shaking to stop, dodge the crap falling off of the shelves and grab a forklift.
With a little work I’ll clear out some space and fill up the Kirkland hot tub, bring over the Weber grill, grab some steaks, beer, wine, tequila and snacks. Of course I’ll make sure to grab one of the portable generators, hook up a stereo and the big screen TV complete with surround sound.
For good measure I’ll run a line to the computer so that I can email my kin and tell them I am A-ok.
And then I’ll have one hell of a barbecue. And when I am too tired to continue I’ll inflate the old air mattress from aisle 20 and grab 50 winks so that I can resume my party the next day. What a nice thought. I can smell the steaks cooking now.