Diet Coke, Ginger Ale, Root Beer

During the past 5 years of my life I have consumed more soda than you can imagine. Vast quanities have been forced down my gullet. Buckets and barrels of soda. If I could regurgitate it (now there is a pleasant image) there would be an Olympic size swimming pool of soda.

Why you might ask have I had so much? Well, because it was there. It is the sad truth, the baal ha-bayit has no discipline. Free soda and I have gone wild with gluttonous desire. More soda to feed the machine.

Every so often I quit. I go cold turkey and then I begin to hallucinate, I see big red and white signs floating by my head. I begin to whistle “I’d like to teach the world to sing…” and other weird events take place.

Help me Rod Serling, I am in the Twilight Zone. I may have to go see Dr. Phil or Oprah. This vicious cycle cannot continue. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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Comments

  1. I have a root-beer making kit. But, it is really complicated! AND you have to make it just right or it will explode. Also, at world market they sell small little kegs of root beer with a little tap built in for like $15. I almost got one once, but decided not to… I love root beer.

  2. Jack's Shack says:

    Farewell, Summer Rose.

  3. Dr. Phil (your idol) would say that you are an addict.

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