During the past 5 years of my life I have consumed more soda than you can imagine. Vast quanities have been forced down my gullet. Buckets and barrels of soda. If I could regurgitate it (now there is a pleasant image) there would be an Olympic size swimming pool of soda.
Why you might ask have I had so much? Well, because it was there. It is the sad truth, the baal ha-bayit has no discipline. Free soda and I have gone wild with gluttonous desire. More soda to feed the machine.
Every so often I quit. I go cold turkey and then I begin to hallucinate, I see big red and white signs floating by my head. I begin to whistle “I’d like to teach the world to sing…” and other weird events take place.
Help me Rod Serling, I am in the Twilight Zone. I may have to go see Dr. Phil or Oprah. This vicious cycle cannot continue. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!