I am running for President

Yes, it is true I am running for office. When I turned 35 I decided that this would be the perfect year for me to wrong. I am of legal age and status and a citizen of the fine nation we call the U.S. of A.

And based upon the candidates we have to choose from I have the opportunity to use some very cool campaign slogans such as:

Vote for Jack- He can’t fuck it up any worse than it is.

You don’t know Jack, but why not give him a shot.

Vote for Jack and let the other two guys bag groceries at the “Bush N’ Kerry.

Now I just came up with those three lines in the past thirty seconds which is demonstrative of my ability to craft policy with the same time and effort as the other two guys. Not to mention that we’ll save money as I won’t need to higher any speechwriters. I’ll do my own press conferences and as I am losing my hair I’ll eventually be able to save more taxpayer money because I’ll be able to let the White House barber go.

Consider a few other perks. If I am elected there will be:

Kaparot at the White House. Watch me swing that crazy chicken

Latkes with Larry King once a week.

Manischewitz Moments with Maury Povich

Pesach with Peter Jennings

And oh so many other priceless moments.

(Visited 23 times, 1 visits today)


  1. Jack's Shack October 26, 2004 at 11:10 pm

    “You don’t know Jack, but why not give him a **SHOT**.” I should have said buy me a drink.

  2. mquest October 26, 2004 at 10:44 pm

    Give you a shot of what?
    “You don’t know Jack, but why not give him a **SHOT**.”
    Just the other other day you are complaining about assignation jokes and the president — Now you are asking people to shoot you?

  3. B2 October 26, 2004 at 10:02 pm

    Some more campaign slogans:“Choose one of the chosen.”
    “White House? Yiddishkeit House!”
    “WMD? I can’t even find the afikomen!”


    Isaac B2

  4. Anonymous October 26, 2004 at 4:20 pm

    “Vote for Jack- He can’t fuck it up any worse than it is.”

    That is indeed impossible.


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