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"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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Fan Mail

November 10, 2004 by Jack Steiner

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And for your reading pleasure I bring you some recent fan mail:

“Dear Mr. Shack,

People like you make me sicke.”

Dear Reader,



Thank you for calling me Mr. Shack. It is kind of like referring to that guy with the big round head, the one who makes those ever so funny commercials. “Cock-a-doodle profits” and all that jazz. Allow me to thank you for providing me with an alternative spelling to “sick.”



I am curious, what kind of sick do I make you?



And how about this gem:

“Jack, you and your fellow red staters are the reason that this country is turning into a bunch of gun toting, bible smacker crackers. I hope that you are happy to have helped to destroy this countrie.”

Dear Reader,



Thank you for providing me with the opportunity to use two of my favorite lines on you:



A) A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

B) RIF- Reading is fundamental.



If you actually read my blog you would have noticed that I live in California, voted for Kerry and am Jewish. So I am not a red stater, I do not own a gun and I am not a bible smacker cracker. But if you were here and I had a bible I would consider smacking you in the head. At least you would be right about something.



P.S. Countrie? What school did you skip out on.

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