For the members of the Tribe and anyone else who is interested

This is a little off-color and obviously exaggerated, but kind of fun.
An Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding meets with their rabbi for counseling. The rabbi asks if they have any lastquestions before they leave.
The young man asks, “Rabbi, we realize it’s tradition for men to dance with men,and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we’d like your permission to dance together, like the rest of the world.”
“Absolutely not,”says the rabbi. “It’s immodest. Men and women always dance separately.”
“So after the ceremony I can’t even dance with my own wife?” “No,” answered the rabbi.”It’s forbidden.” “Well, okay,” says the man.
“What about sex? Can we finally have sex?” “Of course!,” replies the rabbi. “Sex is a *mitzvah – a good thing within marriage, to have children!”
“What about different positions?” asks the man. “No problem,” says the rabbi. “It’s a *mitzvah!”
“Woman on top?”the man asks. “Sure,” says the rabbi. “Go for it! It’s a *mitzvah!”
“Doggy style?””Sure! Another mitzvah!” “On the kitchen table?” “Yes, yes! A *mitzvah!”
“Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?” “You may indeed. It’s all a *mitzvah!”
“Can we do it standing up?” “No.” says the rabbi.” “Why not?” asks the man.
“Could lead to dancing”
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5 Comments

  1. PsychoToddler November 17, 2004 at 7:56 pm

    It’s very much encouraged for men to dance with men. See, we’re very progressive.

  2. ricknight November 17, 2004 at 6:06 pm

    your tribe is not my tribe, but that was funny 🙂

  3. Anonymous November 17, 2004 at 4:38 pm

    The good: I’m smiling!
    The bad: I’ve now got a tune from “The King and I” stuck in my head. Shall weeeeeee dance, fa la la…..

    Have a happy day!
    Anne
    from fishbucky

  4. Jack's Shack November 17, 2004 at 7:16 am

    Hi SJ,

    There are laws of modesty and propriey that are followed by some Jews. Those that are Shomer Negiah do not touch members of the opposite sex that are not related to or married to them.

    The topic is actually much more complex than I explained it to be. This may provide a little more insight http://www.torah.org/qanda/seequanda.php?id=182

    If you are still interested in more I can provide a more detailed explanation for you.

  5. SelenaJ November 17, 2004 at 4:44 am

    Is the no dancing with the oppisite sex an all the time rule or just during weddings?

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