Archives for November 2004

The family just left for the first stop of the evening. Under normal circumstances I would be in the car driving, but today I am not quite there. My visit to the doc showed that I have a minor infection. It is not contagious and not real serious, but I am feeling a little worn out.

In a few minutes I will probably get dressed and head over the hill to make my appearance, but then again maybe I won’t. I took a three hour nap and I am still tired. This is not typical and it is just irriatating.

At some point during the last five years my attitude about being sick changed and I don’t know why. Aside from my digestive issues I rarely have problems, but now when I do I feel like it will never go away. I don’t know why, it never used to be like that. I always felt like it would just go away.

It is not rational and it doesn’t make me happy, but there is this sneaking suspicion that whatever I have plans on hanging out and making a home inside me. It is not like me, I am a positive person, but the feeling lingers a bit. Pretty strange.

Jack is a fraternity boy, yes it is true. I joined a house my freshman year. I never thought that I would ever do so, but circumstances played into it. I was supposed to go to Israel for my freshman year of college and then my plans fell through. I was crushed, I had never thought that I would stay in Los Angeles, but things happen.

So I enrolled in my backup school and started to attend classes. I was starting over, but I was frustrated about it because the majority of my closest friends had gone elsewhere, Berkeley, Georgetown, Vassar, U.C.S.B, U.C.S.D., anywhere but LA. And there I was, 18, unexpectedly living at home and missing the party.

While I was walking around campus I ran into a guy from high school who suggested that I try going to fraternity rush with him. I was skeptical about it, but I did it and ended up joining a house. I loved it and never looked backwards. Some of my best friends in the world are people from the fraternity. I don’t think that I would have made it through school without them.

One of my favorite fraternity function is our annual football game, called Turkeybowl. With the exception of 1990 I have played in every game since 1987. I would have played that year but I flew out to D.C. to spend the holiday with friends.

The game is tackle, no pads and it is a muddy mess. The night before the game the field is hosed down all night long, so by morning it is mud and water with a little grass mixed in. It is the actives versus the alumni.

And I love playing. I get off on it. I love the physical contact, the challenge of imposing my will upon someone else. I love matching up against these 18-20 year-olds and showing that they are sadly mistaken, I may not be who I was, but I am a far cry from being old and decrepit.

But this year I think that I am going to hang up my spikes. I have two children, a mortgage and so many responsibilities, I am concerned. And the trick to not getting hurt in this game is to go out and play without fear. And I do, I really play without worrying about what could happen.

However, given the current physical ailment and potential for problems I am wondering if I am being foolish considering playing. I am not exaggerating when I say that it hurts me to consider being out there without playing a little. But I know myself, if I enter the game I will play all out and I will not hold back.

I could play and not have any problems, or I could exacerbate the current issue. The frustration I feel from this is palpable, but they say that being mature means making the hard decisions. So I could continue to whine and cry, but I’ll take a more positive attitude and say that I am grateful for the opportunity to be with some good friends. It will be nice to see the guys, and since I am not playing, I can actually talk to them.

Sometimes it sucks getting older. My children are more important to me than life itself, but it is times like this when I spend a few minutes thinking about the path not taken.

This past year has been rough for any number of reasons. I have faced many challenges, some serious, some not so serious. One of the challenges that has presented itself this year has been the aging process.

Now I am sure that some of you will look at me and say that at 35 I am just a baby, and compared to some I am sure that I am. But the issue is not so much that I feel like an old man, but that I am starting to notice little aches and pains. The ticky-tack stuff doesn’t disappear as quickly as it used to.

I find bruises and wonder how they got there and then notice that days later they still linger on. Uninvited party crashers that just don’t get the hint to leave. It is a collection of little things that make me notice that I am not 20 anymore, and frankly it is hard.

I play basketball a minimum of two days a week, sometimes three or more. If I play three consecutive days I notice that my feet hurt, my back is sore and my legs don’t have the same spring in them. What is up with that. I feel like I was robbed. But I am not yet willing to concede my youth. I am trying some new exercises and watching my diet to see if I can’t pull out more of the guy I used to be.

Continued in the next post

It is a slow day in Blog Land. Traffic to the shack is minimal, but given the holiday I am not surprised. And given my current disposition I am not surprised to see that my own posting has slowed down.

You can file this next spot under the too much information category. I have to go and get my prostate checked out and the thought makes me want to prostrate myself on the floor. But I am beginning to feel less and comfortable so I might as well do it.

I hate the exam, makes me feel kind of loosey-goosey and not so manly. May need to go to Home Depot afterwards and buy a new set of power tools.

“MINNEAPOLIS – Ancel Keys, the University of Minnesota scientist who invented the K ration diet used by soldiers in World War II and who linked high cholesterol and fatty diets to heart disease, has died at the age of 100.”

I thought that this was an interesting story.