The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for November 2004

Wing Women- Use a woman to help you meet other women

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I read about this the other day. It is a service that men can use to try and utilize the assistance of a beautiful woman to meet other women.

The idea is that a man hires a woman to serve as a bit of an escort to a social function. At the function the woman is supposed to help facilitate introductions to other women.

I haven’t been single in close to a decade, but as I recall from my college days this is a fairly smart and sensible approach. I had a couple of friends who were very pretty and very outgoing. Any time we went out I ended up meeting other women.

I suspect that beyond making a man a little less threatening there is probably some kind of competition thing going on here. That is enough on this topic for now. Plenty of more important things to cover.

A Poor Bedside Manner

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This afternoon I began to experience another physical issue. It was the second problem in a week and has me irked because I am not old enough to be breaking down like this, or so it seems it should be.

The short version is that I thought that I had a kidney stone and was in a bit of discomfort. I played it safe and visited the doctor only to find out that my blood and urine tests show no sign of a stone or infection.

My BIL the doctor thinks that I may have some kind of prostate infection. I am not old enough for this crap. Bleah.

The best part of this experience was when I asked the doc about my test results and he said that my kidney’s were showing a small irregularity, but that we wouldn’t know if it was kidney disease without more tests.

I considered punching him in the nose so that he could appreciate my telling him that without an X-ray we would not know if it was broken.

Rather to Step Down From ‘CBS Evening News’

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“NEW YORK – Dan Rather, embattled anchor of the “CBS Evening News,” announced Tuesday that he will step down in March, on the 24th anniversary of taking over the job from Walter Cronkite.”

What is the frequency Kenneth? No suprises here. In a short time the evening news landscape will be brand new.

An Ambassador to Judaism

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At the tender age of 35 I have been involved in Jewish groups for what feels like 150 years. My primary area of focus and interest has been with Jewish youth. I have worked with any number of settings, camp, school, afterschool and more. And I have done it with the Reform, Conservative and Orthodox branches or denominations. That is not nearly descriptive enough, but it will suffice for now.



Each time I have been involved we have had many activities in which we interacted with the general public. And each time we did we had a discussion about being an ambassador to Judaism. That is, we spoke as a staff and to our children about how many people had never met any Jews or had very little experience with Jewish people so it was important to take that into account in reference to personal conduct.

I always found these discussions to be a little troubling for me. In concept it all made perfect sense to me to try and portray a good image of who we are and what we represent. The flip side of this was that it irked me because we are all people and there are good Jews and bad Jews just like it would be true for Catholics/Protestants/Hindus/Buddhists/Muslims etc.

It seemed a little disingenuous to me to try and walk around on your best behavior because to me it seemed a little phony. Be who you are. It is like the honeymoon period of a relationship in which you strive to hide all bodily functions from your girlfriend/boyfriend until that one night when the chili backs up on you and you cannot hide your true flatulent self any longer. “Yes honey, I fart like every other human being. You probably knew this because in trying to hide it from you I became bloated and began to look like one of the floats at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.

But I digress.

In addition to the aforementioned concern I was always disappointed that I didn’t receive business cards, a hat and an office that identified me as an ambassador of Judaism. I didn’t want to be an ambassador, I wanted to be the ambassador. You know me, why fit in when I can force myself out into the public eye.

Ok, I have a small problem here, I am just not sure how to end this. I compose on the computer and almost never create an outline, so I am at a loss. Let’s do this and in the fashion of my people end this so that we may go eat. It is like every Jewish holiday.

They tried to kill us, they lost, let’s eat. Batei Avon.