During the last week or so I have seen a number of posts by women that ask if men have emotions. They question whether we are feeling and I have an answer for them. We express ourselves differently than women do, the lack of tears is not always indicative of a lack of pain.
From a young age we are taught to be tough, to try and hide our emotions and that is often what we do. You learn that if someone tells you that are acting like a woman it is not a compliment.
And fwiw, it is not unusual for women to expect us to act like the traditional male. I know a number of women who say that they want a 21st century man, who is kind and gentle and in touch with their feelings. But some of them will also to admit to wanting a man who fits the stereotype, at least in a number of ways. They want a man who is decisive, who is willing to lead and tell them what to do.
Not tell them in the way of making them less than equal partners, but one who is strong enough to say “this is how we are going do it” and then set out to do it. They have expressed comments that they want to be “taken” in the bedroom. As one of my friends said to me, “I want him to be a man. Don’t hold back, be a man.”
Now I don’t expect women to be monolithic in their views on anything, anymore than I would for men. But what I do know is that I hear and see mixed messages coming from women. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Within my group of male friends I am willing to lay money down that if you asked them what they want from a girlfriend/wife they will essentially say that they are looking for a smart, beautiful woman who is sexy and interested in taking care of them.
And while they may not phrase it this way I am willing to bet that they are all searching for a love that takes your breath away. We want to feel chills, short of breath and dizzy because of the love we have for our women. We want a woman who makes us happy just holding hands as well as a woman who makes us fight to restrain ripping her clothes off of her.
That intensity you feel from real love is a goal and a desire. Believe me, lots of men have it.
And while I am preaching allow me to say to the single men out there, women are much less complex than you think they are. Get inside her head and her heart. Make her laugh, make her smile, make her feel secure and loved and you will get back more than you give.