Hate Mail

Dear Jack,

You are arrogant, dumb, stuped, cocky and a jerk. I hope that you lose just like a looser.

-Me

Dear Me,

Nice to see that you have command of the English language. Now all you need to learn is how to spell. In the interim if you wear your pants a little bit looser you won’t feel so stuped.

Love,

Jack

Dear Jack,

I have watched you right people on the board and thik that you fight dirtie.

Eat crap and die

Dear Crap,

I didn’t post your entire note because it was too painful. Spellcheck and proof your work. Beyond that this is an adult blog, you can say shit. Like, “wipe the shit-eating grin off of your face you moronic excuse for a person.” Was that mean?

Jack,

Does your mother know what comes out of your mouth?

Unsigned

Dear Unsigned,

Yes, my mother does. When I was little I was taught not to spit and to chew with my mouth closed. This can only be because my mother knows what comes out of my mouth.

Love,

Jack.

Dear Jack,

If you were a real man you wouldn’t need to carry on the way that you do. Be nice and good things will happen to you.

Sincerely,

Your mother

Dear Mom,

Hah, you came so close to convincing me that it was my mother writing, except she uses my real name. More importantly your typing was too good to be my mother. The real one has beautfiul handwriting but no skills as a typist. Thanks for playing.

Love your eldest child,

Jack B.

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