When Friends Have Sex
I received a call late last night from a friend of mine. He was upset about something that happened a little more than 10 years ago.
He had just learned that his ex-girlfriend slept with a friend of his and was angry about it. He wanted to know if I knew about this because he is still friends with the guy (as I am) and wanted to know if he should confront him about it.
I paused and considered my answer. His ex is actually someone that I still know and so is the guy involved here. Not to mention that I once fooled around with her too, but that is a different story and it will cost you more than the nickel you paid to read this one. You do realize that I charge a fee for my services, don’t you. 😉
All of us are married now and it is more than a decade since the incident. I learned about the incident early on, but saw no reason to cause a lot of pain and chaos by mentioning it as I knew that this had been a one time affair.
I must have waited longer than I thought because he prompted me to speak, or maybe it was my own guilt that caused my silence. My night with her had not been premeditated, it had been at a party and we had consumed a couple of drinks. Not to mention that I was the one who stopped it from going any further.
It wasn’t easy to cut things off, she was very affectionate and let’s face it, I was 24, single and male. How many times are you going to tell her that you appreciate the offer, but you really should go home. But I did, and I am proud of that.
Anyway, the other guy did not do this and I only found out by mistake. I spoke with him briefly about the affair and asked him what he intended to do because if he wanted to continue the relationship I was going to advise him to reconsider. He said that he wasn’t going to make anything of it and I let it lie as I really didn’t want to be more involved than I was.
A couple of weeks later she approached me and told me her version of the story, which matched his. I sat and listened and the moment came, she asked me why I hadn’t taken things further with her as well as inquired as to whether I thought she should try dating him.
I suggested that she find another beau and explained to her that I found her to be very attractive, but that I didn’t want to cause problems between him and I and that was the end of it, or so I thought until I received the call last night..
I felt like Pacino in Godfather 3, just when I thought I was out they suck me back in. I asked him if this was something that he felt really strongly about and suggested that unless it was he should let it go. The incident that took place had not happened while he was together with the ex and since it was a single incident I would ignore that and remain friends.
That seemed to work for him and we went on to discussing bigger and better things. But I wonder if I am not going to hear from her about this as I know they are emailing each other.
If this is the most challenging thing I need to work on this week it will be a good week.