I am finally at the place I want to be. Stephanie #2 is showing real signs of interest and I am feeling like there is a new lease on life.
There are some complications and I know that they are big ones. I want to try and let the other Stephanies down easily. I donâ€™t want them to be hurt and feel badly that up to now I have done a poor job of trying to prevent this from happening
Stephanie #3 and I get together for our scheduled date. It is about a week before Valentineâ€™s Day and neither one of us have mentioned anything about it. I have decided that I am going to have the talk with her today. I need to be honest and let her know that I think that we should be friends.
I am cautious during the date to not to do anything that is going to compromise my position. I want to try and be as gentlemanly as possible and midway through the date I tell her that we need to speak about things.
She says ok and I proceed to give her the “it is not you, it is me” speech. She nods her head and begins to cry. I apologize and tell her that I really do think that she is great, but that it is just not a good time for us.
The anger appeared suddenly and without warning as the tears turned into screams about how bad I was and how she had made a Valentine’s Day surprise for me that I had now screwed up. I let her yell for another ten minutes or so, apologized and then left.
It felt good to have spoken with her and to have gotten things out in the open. I never really enjoyed dating multiple people at once and this had certainly been a lot of work and a real challenge.
So I used the good feeling and momentum to call Stephanie #1 and asked to see her. She told me to come on over. As soon as I walked in the door she gave me a big hug and told me how happy she was to see me.
The look on my face must have been telling because the smile on hers disappeared. I went through the same speech I had given earlier and again apologized and told her that I didn’t want to string her along. She took it better than the prior Stephanie and didn’t yell or scream. But she did tell me again how disappointed she was that the plans she had made for Valentine’s Day had fallen through.
I left there feeling more relief and excited about the future with Stephanie #2. I was very attracted to her in all ways and began thinking of what to do for the big date on Valentine’s Day. I made reservations at a couple of different restaurants thinking that I would let her pick the meal and continued to consider what else to do.
I made arrangements to get flowers and a basket of chocolate. I was feeling really good and knew that I was ahead of the game. All that needed to happen was for the weekend to arrive so that we could have our special night together.
We spoke every day on the phone and I grew more and more excited about the date. Finally the big day arrived and I was just ecstatic. I took a really hot shower and made a point of making sure that I had the closest shave I could get.
My clothes were laid out on the bed, shoes were polished and I had just finished brushing my teeth when the phone rang. It was Stephanie #2 calling to cancel. The ex had come and begged for her return and she had accepted. She was really sorry and hoped that I understood because it wasn’t me, it was her.
“It wasn’t me, it was her” rang in my head. I decided then and there that Valentine’s Day would never play me for a chump again and swore to never observe it again. And I haven’t.