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Proud and Humbled By the Four-Year-Old

March 8, 2005 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

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In a prior post I described some of the things that my son has said or done and I now get to add to the list.

My children are the finest thing in my life. I have done nothing better than to help bring them into the world and I take my job as a father very seriously. Part of that means being able to answer any and all questions. We have discussed death and talked about G-d, what it means to be Jewish, why we do things differently than other people and why we need to be careful not to waste things.

We have discussed all of the above and spent time talking about why I love playing basketball, why I like to watch the Lakers, what he’ll look like when gets taller and why his sister sometimes gets gifts from people and he does not.

But along the way I have noticed that certain discussions have a way of creeping back into the fold, some serious, some not so serious.

When I dropped him off at school today he decided to tell one of the mothers about me. He tugged on her hand to get her attention and when she looked down at him he said, “My daddy has a very large penis.”

She smiled and turned a bit red, I tried to maintain my composure and keep a poker face, but that wasn’t going to happen this time. Because just as soon as he finished telling her about my anatomy he followed up with this little gem “my daddy has really stinky gas. He farts a lot.”

And there you have it, within 60 seconds he propped me up on Mount Olympus and then sent me tumbling back to the Earth.

I tried to think of some kind of witty remark, I tried not to blush too much. I am not sure that I managed to do either. All I know is that I am almost afraid to see what happens when his little sister learns how to speak. It is a good thing that I love him.

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