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"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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A New Set of Letters

April 7, 2005 by Jack Steiner

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Dear Jack,

Why are you so mean and nasty?

Signed,

I don’t Understand.

Dear Reader,

You are late to the party. I have already received three copies of this letter, but because I am mean I am posting your inquiry to call you slow and stupid. In fact I am so mean that I haven’t used your real name.

Love,

Me

Dear Jack,

Why are European sports so dull and what can we do about it.

Regards,

Rolf the Wonder Dog

Dear Rolf,

There is a reason that hooliganism is so big and so popular. It must be because it is so much fun to riot instead of watch the game.

Bored beyond belief,

Jack

Dear Jack,

Do you know who is serving as the Renegade Rebbetizin’s Chief of Staff? I need someone to help clean my home for Pesach.

Thanks,

Saul

Dear Saul,

RenReb took the hallpass and ran away months ago. I haven’t the foggiest idea who it is, but it could be DovBear.

Thanks,

Jack

Speaking of DovBear, I received two comments from people who think that I should have a cool name like him. One of them was even clever enough to offer two suggestions: YonahZonah and SoosHorse.

With comedic talent like that it is no wonder that they are blogging during daytime.

Jack,

If you had to choose three blogs to recommend which would they be?

Many thanks,

Uninspired Blogger

Dear Uninspired,

Give it a few days I am waiting for my next set of endorsement checks to clear. In all sincerity, it really depends on what you want. Give me some more details on what you are looking for and I’ll respond.

-Jack

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