A Grandson’s Distraction
I have shared thoughts, feelings and information about my grandparents on a couple of different occasions including the time I talked about being married for more than 70 years.
And in these posts I have written about how age and infirmity is catching up with them. Some of you have written some very lovely notes and I thank you for it.
Yesterday we were given more news about my grandmother that appears to suggest that the end is getting closer. The problem is that the doctors cannot really tell us how close it is. We are still running a race where the finish line is a bit undefined. We know that we are closer to it than the starting line, but it is still somewhat obscured by the horizon.
It is a simple case of heart disease that is the issue, slowly but surely her heart is beginning to breakdown and wear out.
My grandmother is a primary concern, but so is the health and welfare of her husband, my grandfather. There is a real concern about how he is going to deal with all of this. Last night I decided to speak with him about it.
I called him on the telephone and listened to him as he updated me on his understanding of my grandmother’s situation and he told me again about how much he loves her and how hard he is willing to work to make life as comfortable as possible as well to try and keep her around.
I told him that I thought that he was going about things the right way and that I needed to speak with him about a serious matter and that since I wasn’t sure if we could find time alone in person I would do it then.
He listened carefully as I reminded him about how many people love him and that while I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose a spouse after 71 years, let alone someone that I had been friends with for 80 I couldn’t let him forget that there are others who need him.
All three of my grandparents wits are about them, they are all still sharp, albeit with a touch of things that come with age.
He agreed with me that there were plenty of reasons to live as long as he could, even if it means without my grandmother. He also agreed with me that since we cannot say when it is she may go we all should take advantage of this time with her and to enjoy it.
It is not a time to mourn, she is still here. Not that he was, but it is important to maintain some perspective about the situation.
It wasn’t an easy conversation, but it was necessary. And he needed to hear that he is important to us too. Even though he knows it, sometimes it is the little reminders that can make a big difference in life.