Prepare yourself for the latest onslaught of silly tales and random thoughts. Earlier this week from a voice near the Mediterranean we were treated to tales of things that embarrassed us. I have a laundry list of these items, and while it doesn’t rival the fabled story of Old Mac Tubby and the Eunuch it does have a few high spots, or low. It all depends on your perspective.
Here is my sordid tale about the events that took place at a party. We didn’t have to party like it was 1999, because it was 1999. For that matter it was the Summer of 1999. We were at a wedding in Rancho Palos Verdes. In our circle of friends it was what you could refer to as the P.C. Era, “Pre-children” and that allowed us to play a little looser with the Schnapps and Scotch. Lest you think that this is a tale of Jack imbibing too much allow me to tell you that during the course of three hours I had but a glass of wine and a shot.
I did my drinking in college so it is rare that I really try to tie one on.
It was a very plesant affair. The bride was a dear friend and many of the guests were people that I had met many years earlier, people who had been to camp and Israel with me. It is fair to say that most of my closest friends were there. Once we entered the social hall we gathered around our assigned tables and laughed as we caught up with each other.
And this my friends is where the story takes a turn. Upon each table there had been placed the traditional flower centerpiece and a small white bottle that contained soapy water with which you could blow bubbles.
At some point during the conversation one of men at the table pointed at one of the women and said jokingly, “you have a real gutter mouth. Our wedding video has a clip of you swearing on it.” The woman in question smiled and said “I guess that you’ll just have to wash my mouth out with soap.”
As she said that one of the men at the table grabbed the bubble bottle and pretended to pour soap into her open mouth. What neither one of them realized was that the cap was loose and consequently she received a mouthful of soap.
I couldn’t contain the laughter, I was roaring, so hard that I fell out of my seat and smacked the back of my head on the ground. I must have knocked myself out because a moment later a waiter was standing over me and for a moment I didn’t have the foggiest idea how I had come to be lying there on the floor.
Needless to say I was just a little embarrassed by this, but I would be less than honest if I didn’t say that it was worth it. That episode remains one of my treasured memories, too funny.
And from a totally different tack I would like to say that I have really enjoyed reading Robert Avrech’s tale of meeting his wife. Gentlemen, may I suggest that you do not allow your wives/girlfriends read this because Robert has gone and created a problem for us. It really is a beautiful story, now if I could send him the bill for the roses I had to buy. 😉
Read the entries for June 15-17th, they are well worth it.