My Penis is Sad

One day my son might kill me for retelling some of these stories but they are just too funny not to share. The beauty of a 4.5 old cannot truly be expressed in words. The honesty and innocence are so gratifying and so much fun.

My son and I have had numerous conversations regarding all aspects of life. We have discussed why people have to “poop and pee” and covered topics such as death including my own and have even had a few of the very popular “don’t play with your penis in public’ conversations too.

Now just to be clear his behavior is no different from any other small child that is learning about their body and their place in the world. If there is any distinction it is that he has a father who will blog about it from time to time.

Earlier this week we had a conversation about what it means to have a “sad penis.” I admit to having a burning urge to use terms like “Mr. Happy” with him but it really isn’t appropriate.

So here is a condensed version of a recent discussion.

Daddy, it is hard to pee when my penis is happy.”
What are you doing to make it happy?


Daddy, I have good news.”
What is it?

My penis is sad now so I can go potty.”

You cannot help but smile at this. I love that little boy.

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  1. Jack's Shack January 31, 2006 at 5:23 am

    Hey Callie,

    When my baby girl gets to be that age I am going to buy her a suit of armor.

  2. callieischatty January 31, 2006 at 2:07 am

    Very funny stuff here….
    I have a 15 year old daughter and I travel a bit for work.
    As it happened our beautiful daughter had to have Dad take her shopping to get the dress for a semi formal ball she was attending.
    Ummmm, he made her get a dress that was well, a big more modest, to say the least than I would have……
    We had a good laugh at the burka he insisted on, took it back and called it a fathers perogative…

  3. Jack's Shack July 18, 2005 at 2:41 pm

    Hi HOJ,

    Ok, I hadn’t considered that but I can see the potential for discussion.

  4. houseofjoy July 18, 2005 at 11:08 am

    Don’t count on letting your wife deal with all the girl issues… Actual quote from my husband to our then 2 year old daughter, “Neshama, you are not allowed to put the mop handle in your vagina.”

  5. mary July 17, 2005 at 10:43 pm

    I have a guess. How shall I put it delicately? Ah… Got it! By the time it starts sneezing at night, the boy won’t be telling anyone about it. Am I right?

  6. Jack's Shack July 17, 2005 at 4:30 am


    Got rid of my foreskin 36 years ago and I don’t remember what it felt like. 😉 Sounds like the experience you had with your son was quite eventful.


    I haven’t heard the term “Penis Sneeze” before. What does it refer to?

  7. mary July 17, 2005 at 1:00 am

    At about the same age as your boy is now, my son was having a little foreskin trouble, and was told, BY OUR DOCTOR, to, ah, make it happy as often as he liked, as this would help loosen things up a bit. All those lessons about not touching it in public, and now it’s occupational therapy…

  8. Plain Jane July 16, 2005 at 10:54 pm

    Just wait till you have to explain “penis sneezes”…. eek!

  9. B2 July 15, 2005 at 11:31 pm

    Wow — 4.5 and you already have to deal with this? I am so glad to have girls; intimate things like this will be her problem (I have been told teenage girls don’t go to daddy with girl problems, and I am hoping it’s true).

  10. Jack's Shack July 15, 2005 at 5:05 pm

    I love apples.

  11. torontopearl July 15, 2005 at 4:14 pm

    Happy…sad. Wow, that little fella’s emotions work the spectrum, don’t they?
    Great post!

  12. PsychoToddler July 15, 2005 at 2:56 pm

    The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

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