The Blog Goes Round and Round

And now for this evenings collection of random thoughts about the world and my experiences. Received this anonymous comment on this post:


Yasher koach. Who are the Kosher Five and What happened to them? Maybe I should work them into my story, Fragments of Fiction. Speaking of that I have been listening to Johnny Cash’s cover of NIN’s Hurt. It is so intense. Here is a link to the video and the lyrics.

“I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that’s real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar’s chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way ”

This is just so raw. It is the story of someone who is stripped bare and there is so much power and strength there. This is not the story of weakness.

But lets move back to Fragments of Fiction for a moment. I have received a few emails from people who have asked how I came up with the idea, where it is going and how I am developing the characters.

The short version is that this was created based upon a whim. I have a very vague idea of where I am going to take these people and what I am going to do with them. There is not much of a formula or secret for how I have been developing the characters.

They are based upon experiences my friends and I have had, but you should be aware that those experiences have in some cases been exaggerated or completely fabricated. But there is one element in the creative process that I can share with you. I have found that the times in which I have felt the best about my writing are those where I felt the saddest. Thus far the story is a mixture of good and bad. There are some very sad moments in it. You may not feel my sadness, but it is there.

The most honest expressions in that story are from the scars that I still carry around. I tap into those places that do not see the light of day very often and I let them out. It can be hard. I am a happy person. Overall I have relatively few things that frustrate me, at least relatively few that are unique solely to me.

But the truth is that I am one of those people who holds onto some things. There is baggage there that lives in my attic. As I age I find it easier to drop pieces over the side and to ignore their loss. I really do not miss them much, but some things are easier to leave behind than others.

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  1. Stacey July 26, 2005 at 12:36 pm

    Great song. I can’t wait for the movie coming out in the fall about Johnny and June Carter Cash called “Walk the Line.”

  2. Neil July 26, 2005 at 11:33 am

    Interesting to learn more about your creative mind.

    One thing that was a little amusing to me was I guess I was reading your post a little too fast, and I mistakenly thought that those lyrics were from STEVE GORDON AND THE KOSHER FIVE — and I’m saying to myself, “Hey, not bad.”

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