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The Shmata Queen & The Beach

July 27, 2005 by Jack Steiner

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The Shmata Queen and I have an ongoing debate about whether she grew up near The beach. The premise is based upon the misguided belief that a Great Lake constitutes a beach.

Technically I suppose that you could try and make the case that a lake offers a beach.
beach (bēch) pronunciation
n.

  1. The shore of a body of water, especially when sandy or pebbly.
  2. The sand or pebbles on a shore.
  3. The zone above the water line at a shore of a body of water, marked by an accumulation of sand, stone, or gravel that has been deposited by the tide or waves.

I’d disagree with this and say that you can claim waterfront property, but a real beach needs the ocean. A real beach has sand that is created by the pounding of the Saltwater waves and not those of a sinking ship (Edmund Fitzgerald) Please note that all maritime questions can be directed to our resident sailor David. You can find him at Treppenwitz.

That concludes this less than serious post. Hog farmers, sailors, math geeks, art majors and business people are dismissed.

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