Letters to the Editor
Ok, I am confused/amused by this. What the hell is this and could you be real. I don’t think so.
Actually if you are John Wooden you have probably seen me at VIPs in Tarzana at your morning breakfast and you most assuredly have seen me but that would be more than 25 years ago when you used to jog by my bus stop. As for my time at UCLA you might have found me wandering around Ackerman or playing ball at the Wooden Center.
The Shmata Queen can be found in her own corner of cyberspace. She is my wife, friend, concubine and mystery woman. Or maybe she is just one of my 17 sisters. Aside from a mistaken sojourn in cleveland she is a pretty decent lady who has one hell of a right but she is a sucker for a right hand lead. Be careful because she is good at slipping the jab.
It is a simple process. First you need to learn how to write so that the sarcasm oozes off of the page. I am still working on that one, but I suspect that you know all about being sarcastic and bitter. Or maybe not. Maybe you really do think I am cool. Maybe you really like me in which case pretend I am Sally Field accepting an award.
Well folks that is a partial selection of recent email. I left out a few because I don’t want any of you muscling in on my Nigerian/South African/Russian benefactors who have all sworn to make me rich.
Beyond that I am quite afraid that some of you men may abscond with the enormous amounts of Viagra and pills that are guaranteed to increase my length and girth to such an extent that horses will be ashamed to be seen near me and I can’t miss out on that opportunity now can I.
Back later. Enjoy your day.