I don’t need to look in the mirror to see the fear that sometimes strikes me in places so deep I am barely conscience of their existence.
It is a nagging fear that naws away at me. It is the fear of the bogeyman that could get my children. It is the irrational desire to lock them in a bubble where nothing can touch them and no harm shall come.
It is the knowledge that they think I am omniscient and I am faking it. It is the concern that somehow I am going to fail in my obligation to protect them.
And then I take a deep breath and the fear passes through me. I endure and persevere because that is what I do, what I have always done and always will. I know no other way.
My iTunes is up to around 2300 songs or so. Here is a partial list of what I am listening to this evening.
Whiskey Lullaby Brad Paisley
i – Alkher Illa Doffor; Ii – Ad Izayanugass Cheb i Sabbah
Burn Down The Mission Elton John
May It Be Enya
Insomnia (Monster Mix) Faithless
One Step Too Far (Featuring Dido) Faithless & Dido
Anduril Howard Shore
Evenstar – featuring Isabel Bayrakdarian Howard Shore
Samwise The Brave Howard Shore
Gollum’s Song – performed by Emiliana Torrini Howard Shore
Feeling Alright Joe Cocker
I Can Love You Like That John Michael Montgomery
Picture Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow
Duel of the Fates from Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace London Symphony Orchestra
The Breaking of the Fellowship (Featuring “In Dreams”) Lord Of The Rings Soundtrack
Elysium The Lyndhurst Orchestra
Chop ‘Em Down Matisyahu
King Without a Crown Matisyahu
Home Sweet Home MÃ¶tley CrÃ¼e
Adagio for Strings New Zealand Symphony Orchestra
Walkin’ After Midnight (1961 Remake) Patsy Cline
It Was a Very Good Year Ray Charles & Willie Nelson
Who Wants to Live Forever Sarah Brightman
Distant Green Valley The Silk Road Ensemble & Yo-Yo Ma
Moonlight Sonata – Adagio – Beethoven
On Sacred Ground Yanni