I See Fear- Part 2

I don’t need to look in the mirror to see the fear that sometimes strikes me in places so deep I am barely conscience of their existence.

It is a nagging fear that naws away at me. It is the fear of the bogeyman that could get my children. It is the irrational desire to lock them in a bubble where nothing can touch them and no harm shall come.

It is the knowledge that they think I am omniscient and I am faking it. It is the concern that somehow I am going to fail in my obligation to protect them.

And then I take a deep breath and the fear passes through me. I endure and persevere because that is what I do, what I have always done and always will. I know no other way.

My iTunes is up to around 2300 songs or so. Here is a partial list of what I am listening to this evening.

Whiskey Lullaby Brad Paisley
i – Alkher Illa Doffor; Ii – Ad Izayanugass Cheb i Sabbah
Burn Down The Mission Elton John
May It Be Enya
Insomnia (Monster Mix) Faithless
One Step Too Far (Featuring Dido) Faithless & Dido
Anduril Howard Shore
Evenstar – featuring Isabel Bayrakdarian Howard Shore
Samwise The Brave Howard Shore
Gollum’s Song – performed by Emiliana Torrini Howard Shore
Feeling Alright Joe Cocker
I Can Love You Like That John Michael Montgomery
Picture Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow
Duel of the Fates from Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace London Symphony Orchestra
The Breaking of the Fellowship (Featuring “In Dreams”) Lord Of The Rings Soundtrack
Elysium The Lyndhurst Orchestra
Chop ‘Em Down Matisyahu
King Without a Crown Matisyahu
Home Sweet Home Mötley Crüe
Adagio for Strings New Zealand Symphony Orchestra
Walkin’ After Midnight (1961 Remake) Patsy Cline
It Was a Very Good Year Ray Charles & Willie Nelson
Who Wants to Live Forever Sarah Brightman
Distant Green Valley The Silk Road Ensemble & Yo-Yo Ma
Moonlight Sonata – Adagio – Beethoven
On Sacred Ground Yanni
Disco Inferno

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  1. Stacey August 14, 2005 at 2:22 am

    Burn, baby burn.

  2. Cindra August 13, 2005 at 6:05 pm

    I was listening to NPR today on my home on the interstate. Many of the topics they covered created that same “fleeting moment of fear.” It is almost if you let it sit down a moment in your mind it will take root and you will never get rid of it, so you sweep it away and go on with your life…just as you did in this entry… all of a sudden you were talking about music and everyone else ignored that fleeting moment,too. I love Enya and Walking at Midnight is one of my all time favorites. See how easy it is?

  3. Jack's Shack August 12, 2005 at 4:15 pm

    Mrs. Tantrum,

    Music is very important to me.


    You are a slacker. Pick it up. 😉


    I always look at what books/music people own. It is very interesting to me.

  4. The Misanthrope August 12, 2005 at 3:11 pm

    I enjoy looking at the music people listen to and looking at their book shelves. I think it provides a certain insight into the person, probably as much as a shadow does, but I like it anyway.

  5. Mirty August 12, 2005 at 1:49 pm

    I feel like a bad iPodder. I have only 114 songs on mine. I don’t think I even know 2,300 songs.

  6. Mrs. Tantrum August 12, 2005 at 9:59 am

    That is the essence of parenthood.

    You do a varied taste of music, and mentioned some of my favorites. Despite the fact that I know music doesn’t define a person, I still possess that inkling of liking you because of what you listen to.

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