Stop Insulting The Midwest

Apparently I have ruffled a few feathers. Within the last two days I have received numerous complaints from silly midwesterners who have limited common sense. They have made many attempts to insult the fair city of Angels.

They have tried to use stereotype after stereotype to make their case, yet they blindly accuse me of having done the same thing.

Let me tell you, all of you overstuffed, uptight, tractor driving, red state lovin, corn munchers I own you. Each and every one of you.

My city is nicer, better, cooler and more important that all of your put together. We have more of everything and better than anything you can think of. Your jealousy is showing. I recently received confirmation, albeit reluctantly from the Shmata Queen about this.

And you should know that the Shmata Queen is a lovely lady with a very nice soul, not to mention a very nice smile. I would encourage you all to read the following posts on her blog and comment. Please comment extensively as I want her to receive the accolades she is due.

P.S. She is very shy and will likely be quite redfaced again.

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  1. Anonymous August 14, 2005 at 9:54 pm

    Oh well even Canada has its midwest(no insult to the midwest of Course).

    Manitoba and Saskatewan(AKA “the GAP”, between Ontario and the west)

    no chicken farms just lots of Wheat.

    unlike the US midwest it seems to grow socialism. Our medicare program was created by a guy from the Gap (Tommy Douglas)many many years ago.

    Its our “mostly west” Alberta that has our version of the redneck personafide by Ralph Klien.

    An Alcoholic with a 11th grade education that is the primier of the province. Hey but they have oil, they don’t need social programs.

    Then we have our true west British Columbia (AKA BC), very much like California but here is where the draft dodgers came to stay, and smoking grass has been an excepted (if not quasi legal) recreational activity since 1960.

  2. Jack's Shack August 14, 2005 at 6:51 am


    I was good and I didn’t go after the chicken farms, but it was hard. 😉

  3. Jack's Shack August 14, 2005 at 6:10 am


    My sister went to UCR. I know the fabulous IE and I avoid it like the plague, although I was offered a substantial amount of money to move out there by the 8 Jews that live out that way, perhaps you contributed to the kitty. 😉

    Seriously thouugh, I’ll take all of the challenges of LA over having to deal with that place in a heartbeat.

    I have done the commute on the 405 and the 101 and for the last 5 years have been fairly lucky with a relatively short trip.

    For me it really is worth it.

    Greek Shadow,

    I think that you hit the nail on the head, we all defend home, at least mot of us do.

  4. Greek Shadow August 14, 2005 at 3:27 am

    I was an infant when my father was stationed at El Toro, but my parents always talk about living there with great fondness. I’ve lived most of my life in New Mexico and there are lots of things that bug me about it, but I’ll defend my home to the death if anyone from somewhere else badmouths it. I think most of us are that way.

  5. Anne August 14, 2005 at 12:17 am

    L.A. Feh. You can have it. I’d rather live somewhere where my husband didn’t waste 2 hours a day in traffic (on a good day) and where you didn’t take your life into your hands crossing the street on foot.

    But then, I live in the red-voting, Jesus-fish sportin’ suburbs, which is sort of like the Midwest, only with better shopping.

  6. Cindra August 13, 2005 at 6:00 pm

    Okay, okay. enough bashing of the midwest. I just drove home today from Chicago and drove through many amber waves of grain(which might be the new fuel fields of tomorrow) and breathed a sigh of relief. No traffic jams, raging maniacs, stress – am I going to be late? – how do I get there at this time of day? – expensive – Gas at $2.69 – homes at 1/2 million and above for 3bedrooms, 1.5 baths, higher crime rates, higher insurance rates, higher pollution, etc, etc. etc. (I loved when Yul Brynner said that) I love Chicago for all of its resources, its museums, downtown excitement, diversity, noise, color… but I like my quiet space, too. LA, was fun, exciting, expensive, stressful, expensive, expensive, expensive… even more so than Chicago. The ocean was beautiful, it was fascinating, but I love the quiet space and financial pace of the midwest. Close to the big cities, but not the inconveniences. Now, I didn’t bad mouth anyone. By the way, the drive wasn’t as bad today because the rain dampened the smell of the chicken farms. 😉

  7. Bill August 13, 2005 at 5:49 am

    I would love to see california but I would have to cross the midwest to get there, and that would be way too much of a chore. (-:

    No insult to the midwest of course.

  8. Barefoot Jewess August 13, 2005 at 1:31 am

    Wow, what did I miss?????

    I don’t know what others said. I lived in LA for 5 years, and as far as I’m concerned I found paradise. The fact that I was forced to move away (for economic reasons) makes it heartwrenching. If someone gave me a million dollars to stay away from LA, I would take it and then use it to get back there.

    I love everything about it. Including how brash and brazen it is. I love the colour and the glamour and the superficiality and the dreaminess and the largeness and the open spaces and the vision and the possibility and of course the geography and the climate. It is a vivid town. And I love it all because it contains within it pockets of Jewish heart.

    I never thought I would say this about such an alien creature as LA was originally to me. I hope I can get back. And I can’t wait to visit again.
    I consider it my home. Where my soul resides. I mope at the thought of missing out on its incredible offerings. It truly is a city of dreams, where dreams can come true. They did for me, and most of them were not superficial. But then, I am also like a magpie, and I do like shiny things even if I do not possess them :).

  9. Jack's Shack August 12, 2005 at 10:56 pm


    What did you say?

  10. Stacey August 12, 2005 at 10:47 pm

    Excuse me, but I never one good word about your city. (And I never will). 😉

    And thanks for the plug. You are not bad for a Californian.

  11. callieischatty August 12, 2005 at 8:34 pm

    on’t forget to scold this anti Isreal piece of shit Presbytarian.
    You really were splendid in your comments.

    He has a list of hard core anti Israel blogs listed on the right by his posts.

    It doesn’t hurt to help post the other side.

  12. callieischatty August 12, 2005 at 8:25 pm

    I feel the same way about my kids.
    I love them so much, I wish I could stop the bad stuff going on in this world from affecting them.
    I guess like alot of Jewish parents I worry about the new anti semeitism I see out there.
    Anyhow, Shabbat Shalom.

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