My Experience as a Woman

No, I am not a transvestite, transexual or tran anything, but back in the day I did learn a little bit about what it could be like to be a woman in the online world.

I first went online around 1993 or so. At that time I was part of the AOL crowd and I spent time in their chatrooms and a couple of BB around the net.

I used my fraternity nickname as my handle because I didn’t want to give up my anonymity. I quickly learned that for some reason a number of men thought that I was female and consequently I’d get these interesting messages which skipped over the normal intro which went:


For the uninitiated that refers to age/sex/location.

Instead I’d find these men trying to email or private message me with all sorts of questions. The smoother men generally were smart enough not to start with something overtly sexual, but in time it almost always got there.

Some of you are probably wondering how it got there, didn’t I tell them I was a man. And the answer is that I generally tried to, but if I didn’t respond right away many of these guys just assumed that I was female and kept on going.

And sometimes I didn’t even realize that they thought I was a woman because the conversation had started so innocuously with basic questions that had assumed that they were just being friendly.

But I quickly learned that from behind a keyboard men were willing to say anything. I remember one conversation in particular.

Me: Do you like oral sex? Do you swallow?
Him: Only on me. I don’t swallow until I finish chewing.

Him: I bet that you are really hot.
Me: I don’t think that I am who you are looking for.

Him: I want to stick my head in your chest and play motor boat.
Me: Didn’t you hear me, I don’t think that I am who you are looking for.

Him: Baby, I have been watching you and you are so smart and it is so obvious that you are a hot chick.
Me: I am not a chick. I am a man and I am as straight as they come.

Him: He goes off on a tirade accusing me of being gay and tries to smear my name around the chat room.

A short time goes by and I am contacted by someone else. He is convinced that I am a woman pretending to be a man and begs to exchange pictures.

Him: Honey, I can make you feel really good.
Me: I am male and I really have no interest in you.

Him: Don’t play me like that. My girlfriend always pretends to be a man when she is online.
Me: You sound like a real winner. Go away.

Him: Baby, please give me a a chance.
Me: Dude, I told you once that I am a man. Just go away.

Him: It is ok, I like hairy women.
Me: How do you infer that? What the hell makes you think that I am a hairy woman. There is something distinctly wrong with you.

Him: I knew that you were a dike. Bitch!

I admit to being very surprised by this. I never lied about who I was or made a secret of it. And I haven’t even brought up the emails I received. Some of these guys wrote things that I was just shocked by. What the hell were they thinking?

All I know is that if this is indicative of how men treat women then someone needs to apologize for us because it was just so over the top. Ouch.

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  1. Jack's Shack September 1, 2005 at 6:45 am

    Oh Steve, you card you. 😉

  2. Hokule'a September 1, 2005 at 1:22 am

    its true, guys were always hitting on my husband on line he found it disgusting.

  3. PsychoToddler September 1, 2005 at 12:59 am

    You’re lucky I’m not in California, you sexy thing you.

  4. asher August 31, 2005 at 11:04 pm

    It sounds kind of odd for men to think you are a woman if you give no indication of that. I used to overtly pretend I was a woman in a “lesbian” chat room. They used to figure out I was a guy after about 10 minutes.
    You don’t say what kind of chat room you were in. Was it “Sexual Intrigue” or something like that. These come ons aren’t anything you haven’t heard about before unless you have lived in a very closed community.

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