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The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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Archives for August 2005

More Weird Stories

August 26, 2005 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

Here is why you shouldn’t argue with the man giving you a tattoo, not to mention another reason to drink beer later and not during.

“Walnut Cove, NC — A Pine Hall man is in Baptist Hospital, recovering after an attack involving a butcher knife.

Stokes County Sheriff’s Deputies were called to a home in Walnut Cove around 3:30 on Wednesday morning. When they arrived, they found Tony Wagoner missing both ears and suffering from a butchered penis.

The Sheriff’s Department says Wagoner went to get a tattoo from 29-year-old Gary Thomas Johnson. After a few hours together and after consuming alcohol, Sheriff Mike Joyce says a fight occurred between the two men and 18-year-old Jennifer Arlene Robbins.”

They need more exciting activities in Canada.

Rocking to a world record

“Suresh Joachim is rocking his way to his 31st world record.

The 36-year-old Mississauga man, who holds 30 Guinness World Records, is working on his next feat: 75 hours of continuous rocking in a rocking chair.

“It’s very comfortable,” he said after one-and-a-half hours of rocking at the Hilton Garden Inn in Mississauga, Ont. “But maybe too comfortable.

“I’m rocking back and forth, so I’m going to get sleepy. That could be a very difficult problem.”

But Joachim is no stranger to making it through long, repetitive stretches of time. Among the other records he’s set:

  • 100 hours of bowling
  • Longest time spent standing motionless 21 hours and 30 minutes
  • Longest modelling on catwalk, 133.2 km
  • Longest time spent balancing on one foot, 76 hours and 40 minutes
  • Travelling up and down an escalator continuously for seven days
  • Longest distance travelled while carrying a 4.5 kg brick in an ungloved hand, 126.675 km
  • Longest dance marathon, 400 hours
  • Longest non-stop drumming marathon, 84 hours
  • Longest non-stop band performance by a 14-strong group of musicians, 42 hours and 52 minutes
  • Longest distance traveled while balancing a milk bottle on a head, 133.3 km
  • Longest distance crawled non-stop, 56.6 km
  • Longest radio DJ marathon, 133.2 km
  • Longest movie-watching marathon, 53 hours

The nice thing about spending 75 hours in a rocking chair is one has lots of time to plan for the future.

And prepare for the future is just what Joachim did.

First, Joachim cracked open Tiger Woods: How I Play Golf to learn the sport he plans to play continuously for 100 hours next year.

Next, he practised guitar so that he could get ready for his attempt at 100 hours of guitar-strumming (no word yet on whether he’ll play the same song for the entire stretch).

And then he started flipping through Elvis Presley and Ricky Martin lyrics for an upcoming 100-hour karaoke marathon.

He also plans to set the record for the longest non-stop TV watching marathon (72 hours), but he doesn’t really need to practise for that one.”

This boy has some real issues.

“NEWBURYPORT — A 19-year-old man from Salisbury was supposed to be cleaning up a cemetery last week as part of court-ordered community work after he broke into an apartment building last fall.

Instead, officials said, Neil J. Goodwin Jr. invaded the tomb of a Civil War veteran, pulled apart the 142-year-old skeleton, and then played with the bones, balancing the skull on his shoulder and posing for pictures.

”It’s bizarre, absolutely bizarre,” said Lieutenant Richard Siemasko of the Newburyport police. ”I can’t even imagine what was in his head. This is just a whole new level of weird for me.”

Goodwin pleaded not guilty yesterday in Newburyport District Court to a charge of desecrating a corpse and breaking into a tomb, both felonies. Prosecutors said he was doing community service in the Old Hill Burying Ground on Aug. 17 when he kicked in the thin marble entrance to a tomb marked ”1863 Pierce” and twisted off the spine, collarbone, and skull.

”Every time you think you have seen it all, something like this happens,” Siemasko said. ”We just can’t understand why anyone would do this.”

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Man forced to have sex at gunpoint

August 26, 2005 by Jack Steiner 8 Comments

This happens to me all the time, but I never bother to report it because who would believe it. In other news tourism in South Africa just quadrupled.

“Johannesburg: The hunt is on for three women who ambushed a 30-year-old man and forced him to have sex with them at gunpoint.

According to police spokeswoman Paula Nothnagel, a case of indecent assault had been opened and identity kits would be released soon. The man cannot be named because of the nature of the offence.

Nothnagel said that on Saturday night the man was walking through Roodepoort when the women pulled up next to him in their maroon BMW.

They asked him for directions to the Savoy Hotel and he got into the car to show them the way.

At the hotel the women persuaded him to join them for a drink, before asking him for directions to yet another hotel. While on the road to the Station Hotel the women suddenly changed direction and drove to a dark and empty field near the Durban Deep mine.

“One woman produced a firearm and held the man at gunpoint,” Nothnagel said.

“The women got undressed and all three took turns to have intercourse with him.”

The man was then ordered back into the car and dropped off along Main Reef Road.

Nothnagel said the man then went home before opening a case at the local police station. The West Rand Family Violence, Child Protection and Sexual Offences Unit is investigating. They suspect the women were all aged between 20 and 30.”

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Frantic Blogging Comments

August 26, 2005 by Jack Steiner 16 Comments

I received an email a short time ago in which I was asked to slow down the frantic blogging because I wasn’t giving people enough time to keep up or catch up as the case may be.

This is an area I addressed several months ago but I cannot recall exactly when or what the title of the post was to refer to it, so I’ll just start from scratch.

There is merit to the suggestion of slowing down somewhat and spending more time on making sure that the posts I put out are of the highest quality. I compose on the computer and almost never rewrite anything. I usually make it work without too much trouble.

But there is the QA issue and I have to admit that if I wanted to I could slow things down and raise the quality of some posts by rewriting them. There is a simple reason why I do not do so.

I don’t want to.

I like rambling on about whatever thoughts are in my head and commenting about the various stories that catch my eye. I find it to be enjoyable and oftentimes relaxing and frankly my brain often operates at hyperspeed so this provides a snapshot of me.

One other thing to mention. As far as I am concerned there is no rule or reason why people cannot comment on older posts. And for that matter if you think that a post was outstanding and want it to be noted as such let me know and I’ll file it somewhere so that it can be revisited at later date.

I will go on vacation again so I’ll need some material to keep the troops entertained.

Filed Under: Blogging

User Friendly Blogs

August 26, 2005 by Jack Steiner 5 Comments

I underwent Lasik surgery a little more than four years ago. It was great! After 20 years of glasses/contacts I was finally able to see again and see quite well. I know from the experience of the past several years that my vision is excellent.

It is superior to many of the people around me which is why I get especially irritated when I encounter blogs that are not user friendly. They have strange colors, fonts that are intentionally mismatched and all sorts of other crap that just gives me a headache.

In my book they are right next to the people who constantly have to blog about their cats, which is to say not very high.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Seven Years Ago Today

August 26, 2005 by Jack Steiner 3 Comments

On August 25th, 1998 one of my closest friends died. Three brain tumors and the issues surrounding them robbed him of the opportunity to get married, become a father and experience so many things.

I debated whether to mention this on the blog and obviously opted to make it a public remembrance. I am not willing to spend much time on this because it feels a little more raw this year. I don’t know why, but this time just catches me in a way that I haven’t felt in a while.

And so I want to end this by saying with the hokey but true acknowledgement that I am ever so thankful for the 15 years we had together. That includes time spent in Israel, driving across country, flying and more mischief than anyone should ever be privileged to engage in.

Tonight I’ll go to bed with a rueful grin and a bittersweet feeling in my gut.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Bulletproof vests not fail-proof

August 25, 2005 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

Oh this makes me ever so comfortable.

“Bulletproof vests similar to those still worn by thousands of police officers failed to stop at least one of six bullets fired at them 58% of the time, according to a new analysis by the Justice Department.

The findings from the department’s review of 103 vests containing the fabric Zylon comes two months after the nation’s largest vest maker, Second Chance Armor, urged police agencies to replace nearly 100,000 vests containing the fabric. The company – which two years earlier recalled 130,000 vests partly because of problems with Zylon – said the fabric could break down, weakening the vests and potentially resulting in deaths.

Of the vests that were not penetrated in Justice’s tests, 91% showed “excessive deformation,” indicating that an officer with one of the vests would have been at risk of an injury, the analysis said.

The report led the Justice Department to issue an alert Wednesday to law enforcement agencies that warned officers of the potential risk posed by the vests. The department also said it would add $10 million to its $23.6 million vest replacement fund to help agencies buy new vests.

Chuck Canterbury, national president of the 300,000-member Fraternal Order of Police, said thousands of officers are still wearing the defective vests. He urged them to keep wearing the vests until they are replaced because any protection is “better than nothing.” But he warned cities and states that they could be held liable for some officers’ injuries if they do not quickly replace the Zylon vests, which have cost up to $700 each.”

Filed Under: Uncategorized

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